


The Goat Guy of Bethlehem

by lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Advent Fic, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, American Harry Styles, American Louis Tomlinson, Animals, Attempted Arranged Marriage, Based on a Tumblr Post, Christmas, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, No Smut, Pining, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, but that isn't an official tag, just go with me on this okay, more like, they're all american
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:06:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21585034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: “What a pretty little thing!” a voice cried, catching Harry's attention.Harry looked up, assuming it was a merchant talking to Gemma or some other “citizen” of Bethlehem, but when he did, he found a woman with bright eyes and long dark hair walking over to him.“Me?” He wasn’t sure what to expect from any of this since she wasn’t a merchant he had met before.“Yes, you! I think you’d make a very good husband for my son. Are these your parents?”“Uh, yes?” Harry said, almost like a question. Robin and his mom just watched on with amusement, much to his chagrin.Turning to Anne and Robin, the merchant woman said, “I’ll give you six goats for the marriage of your son to mine.”Or every year, Harry and his family attend a church festival called Bethlehem. Harry's freshman year of high school Bethlehem expands, bringing in new vendors, including one that just might change everything for Harry. But first, he has to see if Anne and Robin are willing to part with him for the price of a few goats.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 267
Kudos: 580





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiii hehe I've always wanted to do an advent fic and had very particular rules in place for myself should I ever do one. For example, I needed to have the entire fic written before December 1. I knew if I wrote it as I went, it would never be finished and I wouldn't do that to myself or you. So anyway, things finally came together this year and here it is! My very first - and possibly only - advent fic hehe
> 
> Some of you might be familiar with the basis of this fic. Because it is based on a real life story as posted by a wonderful Tumblr user that updated us on the Bethlehem shenanigans they ran into with their own family the past three years. Christmas 2018 was likely the end of the story for them, but I loved everything shared so much that I had to take it and do what I could to make it my own story. For all three years worth of the original, the post is [here](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/185839248048/probably-voldemort-probably-voldemort), though I do suggest that unless you want to be spoiled, perhaps don't read it until this fic is done. I do have deviations from how things went down with them and of course not enough details were given in the three updates to cover 25 days worth of fic, but I did what I could to stay true to the hilarity and ridiculous aspects of the original while tweaking, changing, and adding to it as I saw fit for my own story. I hope you like it!
> 
> Thanks goes out to everyone who supported me while writing this silly thing and especially to my beta, [Molly](https://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com). Even with her assistance, I'm sure there's some mistakes and those are entirely my own.
> 
> This is a work of fiction based on a true story and using the names of people who actually exist. Please respect the fourth wall and don't share this with anyone associated with the boys and/or the band and their families. I don't allow translations or reposting without my express permission, thank you for understanding.
> 
> And now, the fic! There will be updates every day, though I'm not positive as to the timing, and I do promise the chapters generally are longer as it goes on so please be patient as I get the story set up. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!!

Harry had a pretty blessed childhood, all things considered. His family was just like most in the neighborhood and consisted of his mom, dad, older sister, and himself. When he was eight, his mom and dad divorced, but even that was pretty run of the mill in the area. His dad stayed nearby and, as far as he knew, everyone was happy with the new arrangement. His mom went back to work, his dad moved out, and pretty much nothing else changed.

Since Harry’s mom had grown up living in the Grand Rapids area, just like Harry and his family did, it was her family that had the biggest presence in his life. He was close with his cousins and they had a good time whenever they attended their regular family events.

Their family as a whole weren’t very religious, but Harry’s mom and her siblings had all grown up going to a small town just north of Grand Rapids every Christmas. There was a church there that put on a Christmas festival every year simply called Bethlehem. It ran from mid-November all the way through to December twenty-third, and every year Harry’s mom gathered him and his sister, Gemma, to go to Bethlehem.

When he was young, Harry had thought Bethlehem was real. It certainly _felt_ real walking into the large tent. At the entrance stood Roman guards who would give every “citizen” their allotment of plastic money to use to barter with merchants. This was Harry’s favorite part, outside of the hot apple cider. He loved using his coins to pet some of the animals in the stables or to attempt to convince the vendor to sell him a hand-carved wooden trinket at a lower price than advertised. 

As he grew older, he obviously recognized the volunteers and actors as being just that, but it was also impressive how seriously some of them took their roles. By middle school, he and Gemma would try to find the people who they thought would be most difficult to get to break character and would focus their efforts on getting them to slip up.

All in all, it was a fun tradition they looked forward to every year.

The year Harry turned fourteen, a lot changed. It was 2013 and Harry’s mom met Robin. Harry instantly liked him, and quickly grew attached. It seemed like maybe he was the one who would stick around for awhile. Harry certainly hoped so.

It was also 2013 when Harry realized that maybe the reason he didn’t react the same way to girls as his friends did was because he just wasn’t interested in them. He was still working it all out when Gemma came home from her friend Michelle’s birthday party and announced that Michelle wanted to make sure everyone knew that she was bisexual and had a girlfriend so people would stop asking her questions.

With the way Anne, Robin, and even Gemma seemed to handle the news like it was no big deal, Harry decided to try his hand at his own announcement. After all, it was only a few weeks before his freshman year of high school would be starting. He wanted to be sure things got off on the right foot, and part of that seemed to be letting his family know his thoughts regarding his own sexuality.

At first, it didn’t go so well. Gemma looked at him, shocked, and ran upstairs. Eyes wide and now feeling a lot more nervous than he had been even five minutes ago, he turned to look at his mom and Robin to see if they’d want to run away too. Instead he was surprised to find his mom standing in front of him, ready to pull him into a tight hug.

“Thank you, darling. We love you and support you always,” she said. Those words would always be seared in his memory, played over and over whenever he went through hard times. Robin also had hugs at the ready, and Harry was grateful.

Gemma came crashing back down the stairs moments later, breathless. “I knew this would come in handy one day,” she said before shoving something into Harry’s face.

Pulling back so he could actually focus on what she was holding, Harry couldn’t help but start to tear up. Sitting in the pal of her hand was a small rainbow flag pin.

“I’ve been saving it for years because I had a feeling that even if you weren’t gay, you might not be straight. I’m glad I did.”

Smiling at Gemma, Harry took the pin and twirled it in his fingers. “What should I put it on?”

“How about the lapel of your black winter coat?” Anne suggested. “The wool one?”

Nodding, Harry stood up and pulled the coat out of the closet. Perfect. 

With what felt like a massive weight lifted from Harry’s shoulders, he felt more than ready to take on high school and all that came with it.

He hadn’t expected that the quick decision to put the rainbow pin on his winter coat could possibly have any bearing on that year’s trip to Bethlehem. 

It did.


	2. Christmas 2013 - Year One

“Seriously, Robin, I know the line is long but it really is worth it,” Anne said as they all stood in the falling snow, doing their best to stay warm.

It was one of those nights where the temperatures were supposedly in the twenties, but with the wind blowing briskly, it felt far colder. Harry was doing the best he could to imagine the hot apple cider he could get immediately to help him warm up as they were able to enter Bethlehem.

According to Harry’s cousin Matty, some of the old regulars that he and Gemma loved to mess with had all stepped back from Bethlehem this year and there were new venders that had joined in the church’s efforts to expand the “village” even more than what it had been previously. The tent was much larger this year, but so was the line. Usually Sunday nights weren’t so bad, but apparently the expansion had brought more people to experience the festivities than used to come previously. 

It was fine. After almost an hour and a half in line, there were only two more families ahead of them, and then they’d get their chance to wander Bethlehem.

“Each of you get ten dollars to do with as you like this year,” Anne announced. 

Harry turned to her in surprise. “Breaking with tradition and giving us more than five?”

“I heard the prices on some things went up with the expansion,” Anne said, making a face. “I want to be sure you can actually purchase something if you’d like.”

It was only moments later they passed the Roman Centurions, gratefully taking the coin purses they handed to them, before Harry rushed to the line for hot apple cider.

At first the stalls and everything about Bethlehem seemed the same as it had every other year. Harry enjoyed watching Robin take it all in for the first time and introduced him to some of his favorites that were still around, like the wood shop.

That, however, was when everything changed.

“What a pretty little thing!” a voice cried, pulling Harry’s attention from the really cool looking cloth poncho. 

Harry looked up, assuming it was a merchant talking to Gemma or some other “citizen” of Bethlehem, but when he did, he found a woman with bright eyes and long dark hair walking over to him. She was obviously part of Bethlehem and likely the merchant for the ponchos he was currently perusing. 

Quickly searching for his family and finding Robin and Anne still beside him with Gemma having wandered off, Harry turned back to the woman and asked, “Me?” He wasn’t sure what to expect from her since she wasn’t a merchant he had met before.

“Yes, you! I think you’d make a very good husband for my son. Are these your parents?”

“Uh, yes?” Harry said, almost like a question. How else was he supposed to respond? He was so thrown off over her addressing him like this that he didn’t know what else to do other than answer her questions with any response he could muster. 

Robin and his mom just watched on with amusement, much to his chagrin.

Turning to the two of them, the merchant woman said, “I’ll give you six goats for the marriage of your son to mine.”

Harry was appalled. How did she know simply by looking at him that he wasn’t straight? Was it even safe to approach people like this in this setting? Bethlehem was run by a  _ church _ and as far as Harry knew, those didn’t usually take kindly to same-sex relationships. Why was she suggesting this? Not only that, who was her son and why was she literally trying to buy Harry for him?

Harry looked quickly behind the woman, not even wanting to see what Anne and Robin’s faces looked like at this point, and that was when he saw the boy who could only be the merchant’s son.

He was beautiful, exactly Harry’s type, but he also looked horrified. Harry understood. The feeling was absolutely mutual. 

“Mom,” the boy cried. “What are you doing?”

The woman flapped her hand at him, but before anything more could be said by them, Anne spoke up. 

“Oh, I’m afraid six goats just won’t do, not for our Harry. Thank you for the offer, but not this year.”

The merchant woman took the declined proposal well, and let them leave, much to Harry’s relief.

Thankfully, the rest of their time at Bethlehem was much more relaxed. Harry still didn’t know what had brought on the woman’s bold actions earlier, but he was ready to brush it off as a mystery.

At the exits, there were girls stationed collecting the coin purses and unused coins from everyone as they left. One of them looked slightly familiar, but Harry couldn’t figure out why. 

She held her hand out to him and, nodding to his chest said, “I like your pin. Thanks for wearing it tonight.”

Confused, Harry looked down and saw the rainbow flag pin Gemma had given him that past summer. Suddenly, the woman’s actions made a bit more sense. Not entirely, but at least a little.

Giving her a small smile, Harry said, “Thanks, and you’re welcome. Merry Christmas.”


	3. Christmas 2014 - Year Two

“Didn’t Gemma say she’d be here by now?” Harry asked as he bounced from foot to foot. 

It was almost time for them to enter Bethlehem and he didn’t want to be there without his partner in crime, even if she was bringing her new friend from college with her. If Gemma continued to bring friends along for their regular trip to Bethlehem, Harry might have to convince Chloe or Johnny to come along as well.

“What, are we not good enough company for you?” Robin teased, bumping into Harry and making him skid in the slushy path. 

Pouting down at his too small boots and how their worn down treads had obviously betrayed him, Harry said, “I never said that. I’m just not used to being here without her.”

“I know,” Robin said with a smile, “but someone with her particular shade of pink hair is approaching, so I don’t think you need to worry.”

Harry looked in the direction Robin was pointing and was relieved to see Gemma and Sarah walking towards them.

“Oh, looks like we got here just in time!” Gemma cheered as she gave everyone hugs. 

She explained the traffic and various driving conditions from Chicago as they entered Bethlehem. Harry shook his head. She was even more talkative than before, if that was possible, but he was happy to have her back for at least a week. 

They caught up easily while they waited in the apple cider line, and only truly started taking in the usual surroundings of animals and somewhat rustic stalls when they had the warm drinks in hand.

“I wonder if you might get engaged this year,” Gemma teased.

“I really hoped everyone would have forgotten about that by now,” Harry muttered. He’d been an odd blend of proud and ridiculously embarrassed after last year, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with all of that again.

“Of course we haven’t!” Gemma said, pinching Harry’s cheeks. “She wants to land these adorable dimples and curls for her son, and I’m interested to see if she has upped her offer this year!”

“I really doubt that even if she’s here again, that she’d remember us, Gem,” Harry protested.

“Oh, wonderful! You’ve returned!”

Harry froze in his tracks. It couldn’t be, could it? He looked up and the stall had moved, but the merchant woman with the beautiful cloth ponchos was back and looking ecstatic to see Harry and his family walking towards her.

“Have you married your son off yet? I’m able to offer you nine goats and three chickens for the marriage of your son to mine!”

“Come on, Harry,” Gemma said, nudging his shoulder. “At least get a little closer to your future mother-in-law.”

Harry sent Gemma a glare, before turning and finding the merchant’s son easing towards the corner in the back of the stand where the light didn’t reach him well. The poor guy might have it worse than Harry. How many times did his mom try to purchase him a husband or a wife every year?

“Nine goats and three chickens is a tempting offer,” Anne said, as if she was actually considering it. 

“Mom!” Harry hissed, walking closer to the stand now. 

She couldn’t accept! What would happen if they said yes? He wasn’t ready to be engaged, not even fake engaged.

“I’ve saved all year in the hopes that the higher offer would be successful,” the merchant woman said, smiling and looking proud of herself. “Your son is very beautiful and I’m sure you have many suitors and families coming after him.

“Indeed we do, but I just don’t think we’re ready to marry Harry off just yet,” Robin answered. “Thank you for your interest, though.”

Sending a grateful look to Robin, Harry sent as close to an apologetic smile towards the boy in the back corner and then rushed away.

“Oh, Harry,” Anne said, laughing as she came and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. “Don’t you want to get to know your future in-laws a bit more? I know you wanted to look at the ponchos and try to get one for yourself this year.”

“Not if it means I have to keep telling her I’m perfectly fine being single,” Harry said, folding his arms with a pout. “I’m fifteen, and her son doesn’t look too pleased at her attempts to buy him a husband either.”

“I know, darling,” Anne said before leaning in and kissing him on his temple. “It’s just a bit of fun, don’t you think?”

Harry shrugged. Maybe it was, but it was also humiliating and he didn’t know how to handle it. 

Maybe next year he would be able to get a poncho without the woman trying to purchase him.


	4. Christmas 2015 - Year Three

“I’m sorry Johnny couldn’t make it after all,” Anne said as she wrapped her arm around Harry. 

It felt weird going to Bethlehem this year. Gemma was spending most of her Christmas break in Florida with some friends and when Johnny got sick last minute, Harry felt the strange weight of being alone with his mom and Robin in a way that he didn’t normally feel. It was hard to explain.

“It’s alright,” Harry said with a smile. “He didn’t  _ try _ to get sick. He said he would come next year if we go a night his family doesn’t have anything going on.”

“Might be nice to have that to look forward to for your senior year Christmas and all anyway,” Anne said with a smile. “I know it’s not really a big deal, but it does feel different after you move out.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Harry agreed, feeling awkward. He was still a junior, still figuring out scheduling for the PSAT and if he wanted to do a heavier load with AP courses next year or not. He didn’t want to think about  _ after _ high school just yet. He was still trying to muddle his way through high school at the moment.

“So, what do you think, Robin?” Anne asked, pulling away from Harry and looking at her fiance. Robin had proposed at Thanksgiving, and Harry was ecstatic. He loved Robin and felt like he was already a part of the family. “Should we actually agree to marry Harry off to that nice merchant woman’s son if she offers enough goats this year?” 

“Oh my God, you cannot do that,” Harry cried, possibly louder than necessary based on the heads that turned their way.

“Hmm, how many goats do you think are enough?” Robin said, stroking his chin as if he were really considering it.

Harry’s heart was racing. They weren’t actually serious, were they?

“I was thinking maybe twelve? She was quite generous with the addition of chickens last year and all,” Anne pointed out.

Covering his face and groaning, Harry nearly turned around and walked back to the car. It didn’t matter that nothing felt like Christmas this year without Gemma around and most of their traditions being thrown a bit out of whack. This one thing that always got Harry in the Christmas spirit could be skipped and he’d just have to deal with an un-Christmassy Christmas.

“That was generous, but I still feel like we should hold out until she offers more.” Robin was also a traitor. Harry no longer wanted him to be part of the family.

Chuckling, Anne said, “Oh, come on, Harry. The line is moving without you.”

“I’m not going anywhere with parents who are willing to sell me for twelve goats to some unknown woman and her son,” Harry protested, face still covered. He was mortified and could feel the heat of his blush despite the cold.

“I just said I felt you’re worth more than twelve,” Robin countered, taking Harry’s hand from his face and tucking it into his arm. “Come on, you’re worth at least twenty goats.”

“I hate both of you,” Harry said as he was pulled along.

Both of them were still laughing at Harry’s embarrassment even as the centurions nodded and handed each of them their coin purses. Harry still wasn’t pleased with them, but thought he had them convinced to not agree this year at least, so that was nice. 

Besides, even with his poor mood, he still felt like it was officially Christmas as he entered the tent. The wait in line had been longer than usual due to the fact they weren’t able to make it until the twenty-second this year, and were cutting it close to Christmas.

Ciders in hand, they walked around the tent and Harry could  _ feel _ it as the woman approached this time. 

“Oh, I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re even more pretty than you have been the past two years!” the woman cried. 

Harry sighed and gave her a small smile. He just didn’t know how to handle this or what to say to her. How was he meant to react when a mother came and told him he was pretty before trying to barter for his hand in marriage?

As Harry left her to look at the ponchos while she talked about the goats with Anne and Robin, he froze in place when he saw her son working the shop.

His hair was longer, his cheekbones even sharper than they had been, and the outfit he was wearing for his role in Bethlehem somehow still managed to show off his figure. Harry was quite convinced actually that he was the only person who could possibly look good in his outfit. It was essentially burlap, and yet…

Swallowing harshly and looking back down at the ponchos, Harry knew he was blushing. He was fairly certain the boy hadn’t noticed, he was too focused on his own mom out there trying, once again, to purchase him a husband, but Harry couldn’t help the color rising to his cheeks. How did he find himself in this situation every year?

“You want to buy one, honey?” Anne asked, making Harry jump in surprise.

“Oh, uh, maybe next year,” Harry said, glancing up at the beautiful boy.

_ Sorry,  _ the boy mouthed with a wince. 

Harry just shrugged and gave a smile before waving and leaving with his parents. Maybe next year he’d be able to focus enough to pay attention to the ponchos and choose one for himself.


	5. Christmas 2016 - Year Four

“So are you gonna sell Harry this year?” Gemma asked.

Harry took a deep breath and pinched his nose. Couldn’t they have just left it and let Johnny see for himself how ridiculous the entire thing was?

“If she offers enough goats,” Robin said as he scrolled his phone. 

“Wait, what?” Johnny asked.

“I told you about this,” Harry said, shaking the snow out of his hair and brushing his curly bangs to the side. It had finally gotten long enough to cover his ears, but the curls were obnoxious now. He had no idea what to do about it. “Every year there’s a woman who tries to buy me with goats so I’ll marry her son.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was a thing that actually happened,” Johnny said, laughing. “What would happen if you guys actually said yes?”

“We aren’t sure, actually,” Anne answered, before Harry cut her off.

“And we aren’t going to find out, are we?” Harry asked, trying his best to be threatening. He was seventeen. It was the last year his parents would be speaking on his behalf on this matter, should it even continue, and that was all he needed. Just one more year of the ridiculous bartering and his parents saying no before he could stop the efforts once and for all.

Hopefully.

“No, honey, I promise. We won’t accept her offer for anything less than thirty goats.”

Sighing, Harry rolled his eyes, shook his head at Johnny, and promptly changed the subject.

Everything was fine, great even, until they once again made it to the poncho stall and the woman made her way over as soon as she was done with a purchase from an older couple.

“Here we go,” Harry warned Johnny.

Johnny looked far too happy about what was about to happen.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’ve accepted someone else’s offer and your son is married to another?” the woman cried, looking positively distraught.

Johnny looked bright red from trying to hold in the tears already.

“Oh, Johnny? No no, they’re not betrothed or anything of the sort,” Anne said. “They’re just best friends. I promise, Harry is still very much available for your son if you make the right offer.”

“Oh my God, she’s practically  _ asking _ for it now,” Harry murmured, and that was what finally made Johnny crack.

He started giggling and had to wipe a tear from his face as the bartering continued.

Harry smacked Johnny’s shoulder and whisper shouted, “Stop it! It’s not funny!”

“Oh, but it really is. Oh my God, I didn’t believe you guys, but you were serious!”

“Of course I was serious!” Harry cried, arms in the air. “How could I even come up with something like this? I couldn’t! I wouldn’t!”

The longer the negotiations went on, the harder Johnny laughed, bending over and leaning on his knees as he wheezed, and Gemma took photo after photo on her phone.

“I like having Johnny with us, H,” she said as she messed around on her phone some more. “He should come every year.”

“I no longer know any of you,” Harry said, leaving and pushing into the poncho stall so he could actually look for one he could use. He’d never let himself peruse them seriously before, he’d always been too distracted, but now it was proving to be the exact right distraction for him.

Having found one that was mostly black with highlights of bright, almost neon rainbow threads throughout, Harry knew that was the one he wanted. Picking it up, he took a deep breath and finally approached the woman’s son. Apparently she was still trying to convince Harry’s parents to sell him, and they hadn’t given her an all out no yet. 

“Hey,” the boy said, flicking his head to the side to get the fringe out of his eyes. His incredibly  _ blue _ eyes. How had Harry missed that detail before?

Oh, right. Embarrassment and mortification.

“Hey,” Harry said, giving him a small smile. “Just this one, please.”

“Sure.” The guy rang him up quickly and Harry handed over the cash he’d brought. “I really am sorry about that, though. Every year?”

Harry gave an awkward chuckle. “It’s okay. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t keep going if my parents didn’t egg her on at least a little bit.”

They could hear another loud peal of laughter from Johnny, and Harry leaned his head forward on the counter as the guy bagged Harry’s poncho. 

“Yeah, it’s at least halfway their fault,” Harry said before standing back up and accepting the bag. “Out of curiosity, does your mom do this often? Try to buy a spouse for you with goats?”

The guy was blushing now, and it made him even more attractive, if that was even possible. “Uh, no. It’s just you, actually. Every year.”

“Hmm,” Harry said, peeking over his shoulder. It looked like negotiations were over and the merchant woman was talking to another couple who were looking at ponchos now. “Well, I’ll go now. Thanks.”

“Yeah, of course. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Oh my God, were you flirting with your fiance?” Johnny teased as Harry walked back up to them.

That made Harry stop. “You didn’t accept, did you?” he asked, looking at his mom and Robin.

“No, of course not. She only offered twenty goats and five chickens,” Robin said, waving away Harry’s concerns.

“I still say you are not allowed to look at any other boys,” Johnny said, practically crowing with delight. “You’ve already got a fiance!”

“I’m never forgiving any of you for this,” Harry promised. 

It was only when he got home that he realized the guy didn’t charge him full price. At least he got a nice poncho at discount out of all of this. 


	6. Christmas 2017 - Year Five (Part 1)

Harry tipped his head back and opened his mouth, trying to catch some snow on his tongue. With as large as the flakes were and the heaviness with which they were falling, he knew he’d gotten at least a few.

Looking at his family with a smile, he took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. It was nice to be back home. He wasn’t attending school too far away, just at Michigan State, but living in the dorms and the hectic schedule he’d signed up for his first semester of college didn’t leave much time for coming home. Now that he wasn’t stressing about exams and he and Gemma were both home for a full two weeks, Harry was feeling happy and settled in a way he hadn’t for a few months and it was nice.

His mom and Robin had gotten married over the summer, and they were still very much in their honeymoon period. It was actually really sweet, and for the first time in his life, Harry kind of regretted not having a boyfriend. He’d never found anyone that made him want to go further than a date or two, and he’d been fine with that, until now.

Shaking his head, Harry was sure that the longing was just caused by the fact it felt like everyone was coupling up for the cold winter months. He would get through it all like he always did and would be happy he hadn’t settled for someone he didn’t actually like in the first place.

“Alright, so what’s the game plan this year?” Gemma asked, clapping her hands and rubbing them together. “Harry’s eighteen and in college now, he’s obviously of marriageable age, so are you going to accept? She’s sure to up her offer this year.”

“Nope. Since I’m eighteen I get to take over the negotiations now,” Harry said firmly, leaning back on the heels of his boots. He’d found a pair of snow boots at school that were nice and waterproof with decent tread that looked like Chelsea boots and he wore them constantly. They were incredible and perfect for the ridiculous lake effect weather they had in winter.

“That’s not true,” Robin argued. “This is a negotiation for parents to make, not for the children to decide upon for themselves. If an offer is to be accepted, your mother and I will be the ones doing the actual agreeing to terms, not you.”

“And same goes with declining,” Anne said, nodding her head. “We only have your best interest at heart, honey, don’t worry.”

“You talk as if you were actually going to get a bunch of goats and chickens out of the deal,” Harry pointed out. “You do realize you’re not actually getting any animals and I’m not actually marrying anyone, no matter what is decided in there, right?”

Gemma patted Harry on the head. “You’re cute when you’re all riled up, you know that?”

Slapping her hand away, Harry deflected all further attempts she made at messing with his hair and eventually had to grab hold of her hands to keep her away. He’d hit a massive growth spurt the past few months and it was nice having even more of a height advantage over her, and his time in the gym was starting to pay off as well. He was easily able to overpower her now, despite her refusal to stop calling him her  _ little _ brother.

“Shut up,” Harry said, with a laugh at her continued attempts to get to his hair. “I just want control of my future and all decisions regarding a potential husband.”

“Oh come on, as if you’d be so distraught over  _ him _ being your husband,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes. “He gets more and more gorgeous every year and he’s always been your type. Don’t deny it. You’d love the excuse to go on a date with him at the very least.”

“I know literally nothing about him other than he’s pretty, Gemma. At least he knows my first name, I don’t even know that much. I just know he sells ponchos in a fake Bethlehem and his mom is apparently desperate to get him paired off.”

“All I’m saying is if she goes to thirty goats I might have to accept,” Robin said from in front of them. “Imagine the amount of goat cheese we could make from thirty goats to sell at markets around town. Everyone’s doing farm to table, we could easily get in on that.”

“You’re all insane,” Harry said, hands flying in the air before realizing his fingers were going numb despite his gloves. He shoved his hands back into his pockets and looked around. 

Bethlehem had expanded again, and apparently had even more animals available for not only the nativity exhibit, but also the petting zoo and camel rides.

“Ooh, maybe a camel is what we should be holding out for,” Anne said as she also caught eye of the camels. “A camel could be fun.”

“It could indeed,” Robin said with interest.

Sighing, Harry wished the line would move faster. He’d been dreaming of the hot apple cider since temperatures dropped in early November and he was so close. It would also get the focus off of him again for at least a little bit, which was always nice.

The line moved forward, the centurions came into view, and Harry knew it wouldn’t be much longer now.


	7. Christmas 2017 - Year Five (Part 2)

Harry walked in and was immediately amazed. The church had worked hard this year. He’d thought the centurion costumes looked nicer than they had in the past, but as he walked in he noticed almost everything had been upgraded. There were the usual stocks for the supposed people who hadn’t paid taxes, the various stalls for the animals, and of course all of the vendors, but there was something about it that just made it feel a bit more real and a bit less like they were on a really cheap movie set. 

The worst of it though was Harry didn’t know where the cider was. That was all he had been dreaming of for months, they couldn’t withhold it now.

“Where’s the cider?” he asked Robin as he stood on his tip-toes to try to find it.

“There’s a bit of a line to the right, you see over there?” Robin pointed. “Maybe the cider is there now.”

“I’ll go check it out. Where are you heading?”

Once they had details worked out, Harry headed to where he hoped the apple cider was. Thankfully, the line Robin was right  _ and _ it wasn’t as long as Harry had been expecting. 

Once he got to the front, he noticed the girl serving the cider looked familiar.

“We’ve met before, haven’t we?” Harry asked.

“Oh, yeah. I used to always collect the coin purses,” the girl explained. “I’m finally fourteen, though, which means I’m old enough to handle real money now. I’m Felicite.”

“Oh, yeah! That’s why I know you. You complimented my pin one year,” Harry said as he accepted the cider and handed over payment. “Well it’s nice to officially meet you, Felicite. I’m Harry.”

Felicite’s eyes widened and then a knowing smile grew on her face. “Ohhhhh,  _ you’re _ Harry. Well, nice to meet you too. Good luck tonight.”

Confused about what she could be referencing, he just held up the apple cider, said thanks, and wished her a merry Christmas before walking away.

“The girl working the apple cider stand just acted really weird with me,” Harry said once he’d rejoined Gemma. 

She was at her favorite candle stand picking up a few in her favorite scent. She swore no one made candles as nice as the vendor here and stocked up for the year every time they came. 

“Weird how?” she asked as she stepped up to the vendor to pay. 

Looking over his shoulder, Harry shrugged. “I dunno, just almost like she knew who I was or something even though we only shared names?”

“Hmm, maybe she has a crush on you. The curls and dimples always do that, you know.”

“No, it wasn’t like that,” Harry said, shaking his head. “I don’t even know how to explain it.”

“Whatever. Let’s go find Mom and Robin. I want to see how many goats are going to be offered this year.”

“Why are you guys so into that?” Harry asked for what felt like the millionth time over the years. “I know that it’s amusing, I can see that, but it’s almost like an obsession for you guys.”

“I dunno, but it’s my favorite part of this now,” Gemma said, with a smile. “I just like the woman. She’s spunky and funny. Hey, gimme a sip of your cider.”

“You could have gotten some of your own, you know,” Harry argued even as he handed it over. 

“Tastes better when it technically belongs to someone else,” Gemma said with a wink. 

Once Harry and Gemma found Anne and Robin, they slowly made their way around, taking even more time than usual to peruse the stands. Once again there were new vendors, just as Harry expected once he realized the place had expanded, but it also felt even more fun to explore and pretend a little like he was actually in Bethlehem.

There were more workers this year as well, which helped with the ambiance. With the extra movement of people with animals in the supposed streets and the yelling over wares heard everywhere as volunteers bartered with the actual merchants, Harry started to wonder if the boy (Man? Were they old enough to refer to themselves and each other as men now?) would even be at his mom’s shop this year. Or would she still be the one working the poncho stall? Maybe Harry had been worrying about all of this and he had no need to. Only time would tell.

Taking the time to pet some of the sheep that were in a stall and causing a ruckus, Harry almost lost his family again, but then he heard a very familiar voice asking about him.

So much for avoiding the awkward situation of listening to his parents talking about his worth as a husband.


	8. Christmas 2017 - Year Five (Part 3)

“Oh, there you are! I was worried I had missed my chance to gain you as a son-in-law!” the woman said, folding her arms and looking pleased to see Harry.

“Nope, still here and still happily single,” Harry said as he approached. 

“Well, you are getting a bit old to be without a husband, don’t you know? That’s what I tell my son every chance I have,” the woman said shaking her head as if appalled that two guys of their age were without spouses. “You’re about to be menaces to society.”

Pursing his lips, Harry nodded solemnly even as he made eye contact with her son and rolled his eyes. The man shook his head and rolled his eyes fondly as well before getting back to work.

“Well, no matter. We’re going to rectify this tonight, aren’t we?” the woman said, turning her attention back to Anne and Robin. “I have the best offer I’ve made yet ready for you two and I’m feeling very confident that you will say yes.”

“Oh, is that right?” Robin asked, shifting his stance a little. “Well, we’ll have to see about that. What’s your offer?”

“I can give you  _ twenty-six _ goats and  _ nine _ chickens,” the woman said proudly, looking like she knew she’d be accepted at such a grand offer.

Harry meanwhile was incredibly relieved she hadn’t offered only four more goats, because Robin might have been tempted to see what would happen if he said yes at that point. Looking over the woman’s shoulder, Harry almost whimpered. 

It wasn’t fair. Every year Harry saw the man (and seeing him working now, Harry was definitely inclined to call him a man), it was like he had gone through a glow up. Harry had only gotten more zits to match his additional curls and height. Meanwhile, Harry’s potential fiance was over hefting some wooden crates of more ponchos to put out, and his arms were pure strength. Pair that with the incredible bum that was definitely on display as he was bent over, and Harry was more than a little jealous at the natural beauty he had.

Harry was certain he had no issues finding himself a partner on his own. Why his mom felt the need to try to marry him off to Harry and only Harry every year was beyond him.

“You’re getting closer, but are still not quite to where we wanted to be in order to release Harry to a husband,” Anne said, sounding apologetic. 

“I understand,” the woman said. “I will be prepared for an even better offer next year, should he still be available. I beg you to not accept any other offers in the meantime!”

“I can’t make any promises, but we will try,” Robin said as they wished the two of them a merry Christmas and went on their way. 

“Oh my God, you have to go back and accept those twenty-six goats!” Gemma cried once they had made their way to the wood working stall Harry still loved.

“What? Why?” Harry asked.

“Do you realize how much goats are worth?” Gemma asked, looking up from her phone as she thrust it at Robin and Anne. “Depending on the goat, we could get anywhere from two-thousand to eight-thousand  _ each! _ I could easily pay off all my college loans with that and graduate in spring debt free! There’d even be some left over for you to pay for school with, should your husband decide he’s okay with you continuing your schooling.”

“You know, he’d be my husband too,” Harry argued. “Why is it me who’s getting sold and the one you’re assuming would be stopped from attending school? What if I were the domineering husband who wanted a trophy man on my arm?”

The three of them looked at him in silence until they broke into laughter at the same time.

Rolling his eyes and folding his arms, Harry cocked his him and asked, “What? Why is that so funny?”

“Oh, Harry,” his mom said, as she patted his shoulder. “Because you’re you, and you’d never do that to anyone. But it’s okay, we love you just the way you are, and at least part of the reason we love you so much is because you’re so kind to everyone.”

Pouting, Harry had to agree. He’d never be like that with anyone, but he also didn’t see himself just laying down for someone either.

Oh God, they’d stayed in Bethlehem too long this time. He was actually considering what it would be like to be a house-husband, serving his husband and taking care of the children for a man he wasn’t engaged to, for pretend or for real. 

Shaking his head, Harry turned back to the wood working stall and returned the trinket he had picked up. It was time to go.

They made only quick glances at the rest of the stalls before leaving Bethlehem for another year.


	9. Spring Semester 2018 - Winter at School

Harry was glad to be back at school. He’d enjoyed his break, but he had found himself missing his friends and the freedom he had experienced over his first semester living on his own. His class schedule was still a little haywire, but it was better than it could have been.

Harry sat down in a free seat near the edge of the room for his first psychology class of the semester and started unpacking his notebook and pen when he noticed the person sitting next to him was familiar.

As in his mother tried to buy Harry as a husband for him every Christmas familiar.

Class started before Harry could say anything, and it bothered him the entire time. It couldn’t be him, right? Like maybe it was someone else with feathery brown hair and incredible cheekbones and crazy blue eyes with incredible eyelashes and…

Okay, fine. It was very likely to be the same guy. But Harry didn’t want to be the one to bring it up just in case it somehow wasn’t.

Harry built up the courage the entirety of class and when it ended, he finally turned to the guy and said, “Listen, I’m really sorry if you aren’t who I think you are, but you don’t happen to have a mom who tries to buy you a husband every Christmas with goats, do you?”

The guy’s friend beside him starts cackling loudly as the guy’s eyes widen. 

“Oh my God, I was wondering if it was you, but I wasn’t sure without all your hats and scarves and stuff,” the guy said. “You’re talking about Bethlehem, right?”

Harry nodded, relieved he was right after all. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“God, my mom is so embarrassing,” the guy said, covering his face and dragging his hands down. He still somehow looked beautiful. “I’m so sorry about that. My name’s Louis, by the way.”

Harry waved awkwardly and said, “Hey. I’m Harry. But I’m pretty sure you already knew my name.”

They both chuckled knowingly and just took each other in, finally seeing each other without layers of winter gear or burlap costuming.

“Okay, what the fuck are you two talking about?” the blond friend finally asked.

“Oh, I forgot to introduce you,” Louis said, lighting up and standing from his seat. “Niall, this is my fiance, Harry.”

“Oh my God, you can’t just say that,” Harry complained as he stood as well. “I’m not actually your fiance. Your mom hasn’t offered enough goats yet. Though I’m pretty sure Robin would sell me for a camel.”

Louis burst out laughing and threw his head back. Harry loved the look of it and felt pleased for having caused that reaction.

“Yeah, I’m  _ not _ telling my mom that. I don’t even want to see what she has planned if your parents ever accept.”

“You’re both mad,” Niall said before shaking his head and leaving.

“Ni, come on!” Louis called, but Niall continued on, joining in a conversation with a few girls who were leaving the room at the same time. “He’s really great, I swear. I’ll fill him in on the details so next class he’ll be cool.”

Harry laughed and finished zipping his coat so he could pull on his bookbag. “Sounds good. Nice to actually meet you and finally learn your name.”

“Yeah, nice to see you under all the layers, Harry.”

They waved, and separated to go to their next classes.

*~~***~~*

It didn’t take long for Harry, Louis, and Niall to become close friends. When Louis’ other best friend, Zayn, joined them for lunch one day, Harry quickly learned he and Louis had been close to meeting all of the last semester.

“Hey, Zayn,” Harry greeted as the man sat down across the table from Harry. “Where’s Li?”

“Oh, he’s still in line,” Zayn said, waving his hand behind him. “He was hoping to get more pasta since he’s working on bulking up or something? I don’t really know or understand, but pretend I do, so keep my secret, yeah?”

“Wait, you know Zayn?” Louis asked, his mouth still partly full of the meatball sub he had grabbed for his own lunch. 

“Yeah, he’s dating my friend Liam. We met, what? Early October?” Harry asked, looking at Zayn for confirmation.

Shrugging, Zayn said, “Yeah, something like that.”

“Zee, that’s Harry,” Louis said after finally having swallowed his bite. “Like,  _ fiance _ Harry.”

Zayn looked confused for a second before his eyes widened and he turned to Harry, pointed, and asked, “You’re the one his mom keeps trying to buy with all the goats?”

Harry laughed and nodded just as Liam sat down. “Who’s getting bought with goats?”

“No one,” Harry said, laughing, “But Louis’ mom keeps trying to buy me for Louis with some every Christmas.”

“I feel like I just walked into a conversation I don’t want to know about,” Liam said, shaking his head and focusing on his pasta.

The rest of lunch, Harry couldn’t help but watch the way all of them interacted so easily, because for the most part, they’d all been friends with each other and were only just gathered in the same place at the same time now. It felt natural and comfortable and Harry couldn’t remember the last time he felt so fully content.

One by one, they broke off as they headed to their next classes and other responsibilities, but Harry continued to smile. He never would have imagined that he and Louis could become such easy friends, but there they were, and all thanks to a shared class and mutual friends.

Now, all he needed to do was make sure no one else caught on to how attracted Harry was to Louis.


	10. Fall Semester 2018 - Fall at School

“Hey, where’s Lou?”

Harry looked up from where he was studying in a local coffee shop. He liked it there, because it was busy, but no one ever required anything from him. It allowed him to feel like he wasn’t completely cut off while not detracting from his focus. Louis often joined him there, when he could, but today wasn’t one of those days.

“Hey, Niall. Nice to see you, too,” Harry said, smirking before taking another sip of his iced coffee.

Rolling his eyes, Niall threw his bag down and dropped onto the seat across from Harry.

“Yeah, yeah. Hello, Harry. What a wonderful day to run into you here, yadda yadda yadda.” Niall waved his hand in the air as he pulled out his phone and started to scroll. “Seriously, though, where’s Lou? I’ve been trying to get ahold of him all day and he hasn’t answered any of my texts. I figured he’d be here with you this afternoon.”

Harry furrowed his brow and thought back through his day. He couldn’t remember hearing from Louis yet, either. It was a Tuesday, which was a pretty hectic day for Harry, so he hadn’t thought anything of it until now.

“I haven’t heard from him either. I’m not sure where he is.”

“Well can ya text him and see if he’s joining you or not? It would help me out a  _ ton,”  _ Niall said as he typed furiously on his phone. 

“Yeah, but what makes you think he’ll answer me when he hasn’t answered you?” Harry asked as he opened their texting conversation from where they left off last night.

_ Harry: Niall’s hounding me asking where you are. You doing okay? _

Locking his phone and setting it back down, Harry waited for Niall to answer his question.

“Hey, Niaaaaaalllll,” Harry said, waving his hand in front of Niall’s face. “What’s the rush, anyway? Don’t you guys live together?”

Niall rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but I haven’t seen him since he left for his exam this morning. I was trying to figure out if he’s going home for Thanksgiving again this year so I could maybe join him or if I needed to figure out how to pay for a plane ticket back to Boston.”

Harry leaned back and relaxed now that he knew it was nothing important. “Why does this need to be determined today? It’s still almost a month and a half to Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, that’s not much time when I’ve gotta buy Christmas flights too,” Niall said just as Harry’s phone vibrated on the table. “That him answering you already?”

Harry swiped the phone before Niall could, and was surprised to see it was Louis. “I still don’t get why he’d answer me and not you,” Harry muttered as he read Louis’ answer.

_ Louis: Today’s been crazy. Tell him to calm down and I’ll see him after dinner. Thanks for checking in on me :) _

“Yeah, I’m sure you don’t,” Niall said, sarcasm evident. “So what’d he say for himself?”

Shaking his head, Harry held out his phone so Niall could see Louis’ response before Harry typed one back himself.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll tell my mom I’ll have an answer tonight. Thanks man, see ya later.”

Niall got up and left, and Harry tried not to feel too affronted by the fact he was very obviously not the reason Niall had stopped by. Turning back to his phone, he typed a quick,  _ Of course! Sorry today’s been busy,  _ and locked his phone. He had his own exam to study for, after all.

*~~***~~*

“Harryyyyyy, please tell me you’re home and let me innnnnnn!”

Louis’ voice came carrying through the front door of Harry’s crappy apartment. Rolling his eyes, Harry went and unlocked the door so Louis could come in and pretended to be surprised to see Louis. He’d known Louis would be by eventually for some food that didn’t come from a school cafeteria. 

Neither of them were living on campus this year, but Louis lived with Niall and neither of them could cook for anything. Harry, on the other hand, could. This meant that whenever Louis had a stressful time, he showed up at Harry’s door, begging for comfort food. It was a week that had a lot of papers due for both of them, so Harry knew to expect him and had made plenty of fajitas for the two of them and Liam.

“Hello, Louis, what a surprise to see you,” Harry teased. “How did your research session go? Find that missing piece you were looking for?”

“No, it was the worst. Why do I have to write papers? I don’t want to have to write papers!” Louis flung himself into Harry’s arms and let the entirety of his weight rest on Harry. 

Shifting to account for the added weight, Harry snorted and said, “Well, think fajitas would help you feel better?”

“Oh my God, fajitas?” Louis suddenly stood up and walked over to the kitchen. “I love you forever and always, I am your devoted servant.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Harry said, chuckling. “Can my devoted servant get the cheese and tortillas out of the fridge, please?”

Louis, for once, did exactly as asked, and that was how Harry knew he was more stressed than he let on. Ignoring it for now, Harry finished up dinner and listened to Louis complain about one of his professors. Once dinner was ready, Harry quickly prepared a couple of fajitas for Louis and handed him his plate before making one for himself and then nodded towards the couch.

“Oh good, I didn’t want to have to sit at the table. I wanna just eat and cuddle.” 

Harry tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest hearing that Louis wanted to cuddle with him. It wasn’t like the two of them snuggling up on a couch to watch TV was unusual, they were both incredibly tactile and Louis was like that with all the boys, but Harry couldn’t help it. His crush was slowly growing to ridiculous proportions and he just did what he could to keep it under control.

“So,” Louis said, mouth already full. “What are we watching tonight?”

Harry shook his head. “Well, I was thinking we could just watch some more  _ Friends _ until we were done with dinner. I still have another four pages I have to write for Johnson tonight.”

“Booo,” Louis said, scooting over so he could lean against Harry while he curled his legs up beneath him and continued to eat. “Fine. Can we skip to the one with ‘Pivot!’ though? That’s one of my favorites.”

Harry rolled his eyes but quickly navigated Netflix to the right episode, made sure it was projecting to the TV, and then leaned back with his own plate.

They were finishing the second episode, after which Harry insisted they were turning it off so he could write, when Liam and Zayn came in.

“Hey guys,” Liam said at the same time Zayn arched his brow upon seeing them comfortable on the couch together.

“Hey, what’s up?” Harry asked, wondering if he should move his arm. It was comfortably looped around Louis’ shoulders, but Louis had put it there, and he didn’t mind. Was that what Zayn was making faces over?

“Shut up, Zayn,” Louis said as he threw a napkin at his best friend. 

“I didn’t say a word,” Zayn said as he lifted his hands. “Have fun cuddling your fiance.”

“Okayyyyy,” Harry said, looking between the two of them. 

It was normal for the others in their friends group, and sometimes even Louis and Harry themselves, to refer to the other as their fiance, but Louis and Zayn were both behaving really strangely tonight. Louis was glaring at Zayn and Zayn was obviously holding back laughter, for some reason. 

“There should be enough in there for both of you to have your fill,” Harry told Zayn when it became clear no one else was going to say anything.

“Thanks, H,” Zayn said before lifting his brows at Louis and leaving the room.

“What was that about?” Harry asked Louis quietly.

“Nothing,” Louis said, snuggling in closer. “Just watch the episode. My moments of freedom are dwindling, thanks to you.”

“Mmhmm,” Harry hummed, before chuckling. 

Harry maybe let Louis convince him to watch one more episode before turning it off to work on their papers that night. If anyone asked, though, it was entirely his own idea.


	11. Fall Semester 2018 - Finals Week

“I’ve been thinking,” Louis announced as he dropped down beside Harry on his bed. 

At this point Harry didn’t even want to know how Louis got into his apartment. He knew for a fact that Liam was out for the rest of the night and he was even more anal about ensuring their door was locked than Harry was, yet Louis always somehow managed to get inside.

“A dangerous pastime,” Harry sang, knowing Louis would pick up on his movie reference.

“I know,” Louis said, as if he were Gaston. 

Harry smiled to himself as he marked where he was leaving off in his studying of his notes and turned to Louis.

“Okay, so, what were you thinking about?” Harry asked. 

Louis was always coming up with ridiculous plans, but it was finals week, and he took his grades even more seriously than Harry did. If Louis had been thinking about something other than their psychology final in the morning, it must be something big.

“Bethlehem.”

Harry blinked and sat up. Maybe he had gotten too comfortable under all his covers in an attempt to keep warm in their drafty apartment, but with Louis giving such a succinct answer, Harry truly couldn’t figure out if he was talking about the town where he and his family volunteered every year, or about the historical village in the Bible.

“Like, the place where you and your volunteer every year?”

“Yep,” Louis said, lifting up Harry’s quilt so he could get beneath it with Harry. “Lottie is apparently very excited for me to get home so I can take over helping Mom with the ponchos. She wants to get back to helping at the petting zoo with her friends, which is exactly what got me thinking.”

“Oh man,” Harry said, head leaning forward. “Okay, so tell me more.”

“Well, apparently they’ve got even more animals than usual this year,” Louis said, looking excited. Harry understood, he loved the animals as well, but he didn’t get why this was such big news. “With the expansion of Bethlehem last year, they were able to afford more animals so they plan to use the petting zoo and apple cider stand as a way to keep people appeased before they can enter the main portion of the tent.”

“That’s really cool, Louis, but I don’t understand why this is important.”

Louis turned fully to Harry and put his hands on Harry’s shoulders. “Because, my dear fiance, this could be our year to take things into our own hands.”

Harry had told Louis last spring that he’d hoped to be able to take over negotiations from his parents when he was eighteen and how that very much  _ didn’t _ pan out for him last year. Louis had jokingly said they should plan their own way to undermine the negotiations, and Harry had thought it was funny so he’d joined in the laughter, and then they’d both forgotten about it.

Or so he’d thought.

“Oh, you really have been thinking,” Harry said, a smile growing on his face. 

“I have,” Louis said, twinkle even brighter in his eye. Harry loved it when Louis got excited, because he seemed to actually glow from it. “Wanna hear my idea and see if you can help me flesh out the details and then we can quiz each other for the exam?”

“Absolutely,” Harry said. He climbed out of bed and walked to his closet.

“What are you doing? We can plan perfectly well from the bed,” Louis said, sounding obviously confused.

Harry crowed and pulled out the bag he’d been saving for finals week for ages now. It was filled with his favorite chocolates that he only allowed himself to eat in small portions so it would last. He thought that the two of them finally getting back at their parents after  _ years _ of embarrassment and humiliation was a worthy cause for them to demolish the treats. He would likely get more in his stocking, anyway.

“Chocolates!” Harry announced as he tossed them at Louis. He climbed back into bed and got them comfortable before grabbing one and turning to Louis. “Okay. So. Tell me your plan.”

Louis shoved a toffee filled chocolate into his mouth, which caused him to have to focus on chewing for a few minutes, but once he was able to speak again, he turned to Harry.

“Okay. So. Here’s how I was thinking it would go.”


	12. Christmas 2018 - Year Six (Part 1)

“And that’s where Harry’s fiance usually is,” Gemma said with a flourish. 

Harry couldn’t help but chuckle. Gemma had brought her boyfriend, Michal, as well as a few friends along for the Bethlehem fun this year, and Michal had looked absolutely confused the entire time she’d been explaining the background of the Goat Woman and Goat Guy, also known as Harry’s fiance.

Harry’s phone vibrated again, and he looked around. It was  _ freezing _ this year and he and Louis had been in constant contact since that morning. Apparently, despite the fact that wind chill put the temperatures around ten below zero and they’d gotten thirteen inches of snow overnight, the church had decided that was no reason to close Bethlehem and Harry’s family had likewise decided it was no reason to put off attending. Harry just thought everyone was insane. There was definitely something to be said about hot chocolate beside their fireplace as they watched  _ Love Actually _ for the third time that year.

Deciding that it was worth taking his glove off in order to reply to Louis, Harry bit down on the finger so he could unlock his freezing phone and take a look at the message.

_ Louis: Are you still in line? _

Harry rolled his eyes. Of course they were still in line. He’d told Louis he would let him know as soon as they were getting closer, but they still had at least another fifteen minutes before they met the centurions by the entrance.

_ Harry: Of course we are. It’s freezing out here, btw. Better be warmer inside. _

“Okay, who do you keep texting?” Anne asked, sidling closer to him under the guise of keeping warm, but he could see her leaning over to look at his phone screen as well.

Quickly locking it and sticking it back inside his pocket, Harry pulled his gloves on and said, “Louis from Psych.”

It wasn’t a lie. That was exactly who he was texting. It just happened to also work to his benefit that no one knew Goat Guy’s real name and therefore kept everyone in the dark to the fact they could possibly have anything out of the ordinary ready to go for tonight.

“Don’t you think they could find a way for us to get the hot apple cider while we’re in line to help us keep warm instead of waiting for us to get out of the wind and cold?” Harry said, trying to change the subject from Louis in a reasonable fashion.

“Yes, but then you’d be requiring volunteers to be out in the cold all night, not to mention better equipment to keep the cider hot, and so on and so on,” Robin replied right before Gemma brought them back to the subject of Louis.

“Wait wait wait,” she cried, leaving Michal’s side and nudging Harry’s side with her elbow. “Who’s Louis? I haven’t heard anything about him?”

Harry looked at her warily. “It’s because there’s nothing to hear,” he said slowly. “He’s just a guy in my psych classes. He was asking if I’d gotten my grades back yet or not. I just told him I haven’t checked yet.”

That also wasn’t a complete lie, though that conversation had definitely happened earlier today.

“Sure, of course, yeah,” Gemma said, looking even more excited than she had been while giving the entire background story earlier. “But you know, I’m thinking maybe we should tell your fiance’s mom about this competition from Louis in Psych, because then she might offer us something really useful like a car or a trip to Hawaii or something.”

Harry scrunched up his face. “Why in the world do you think she’d offer something like that now? She’s stayed in character as a resident of Bethlehem for years now, she’s not going to just offer you technology and trips places out of nowhere because she thinks her son has competition now.” 

Gemma stuck her tongue, out, but Harry had more points to make, so he continued.

“Besides, Goat Guy isn’t my fiance yet, Louis isn’t competition for anyone because he’s just a friend, and honestly, the most I feel like Goat Woman will offer is like, a horse or something.”

“Can I have the horse?” Gemma immediately asked.

“Nope,” Robin answered quickly. “I’m not saying yes to a horse, no matter the number of goats and chickens included with it. But if she goes and offers a camel, that’s it. I’m accepting.”

“I know,” Harry said, rolling his eyes. His family was truly insane, but he was anxious to get inside. It was cold out, and he wanted their plan to get into motion. He was also trying to act like he was just as reluctant to get to that portion of the evening as he usually was, but apparently his mom was able to see right through him. As usual.

“You’re not fighting all of this as much as usual,” Anne said, looking at Harry shrewdly. “What’s going on?”

“Oh my God, Mom,” Harry said, flapping his hands in the air as he felt his phone vibrate again. “I just decided to go with it. It’s not really worth fighting, is it?”

She seemed appeased, at least for now, by his answer, so he pulled out his phone to see what Louis sent this time.

_ Louis: Hurry up! _

Harry sent a few middle fingers before the line moved again and they were right by the centurions. 

_ Harry: We’re about to the centurions now. That fast enough for you? _

Their family and Gemma’s friends each collected their coin purses and entered the tent, and it was then Harry realized Louis’ sister was right about the restructuring of the entrance. It was nice to duck in out of the cold of the wind and have access to the hot apple cider now, but he was kind of bummed they had to wait even longer before they would be allowed to enter Bethlehem proper now.

“Oh my God, there’s a petting zoo?” Michal asked, excitedly. Harry smiled. Gemma found a good guy in Michal. Harry couldn’t find fault with a grown man excited about pens with goats and sheep and chickens.

“Robin and I can go get everyone the hot apple cider if you all want to go to the animals,” Anne suggested. They agreed, and Michal practically dragged Gemma to the animals.

The weird thing was, there were a lot fewer than Harry had expected.

“There’s like five pens and hardly any animals,” Gemma commented. 

“Yeah, two are entirely empty,” Anna, one of her friends, said.

Harry looked around and saw several Roman Soldiers whispering to each other as well as some various Bethlehem volunteers who all looked concerned at the matter.

“Maybe they were just too cold,” Harry suggested as he patted a pig’s head. It did seem odd though that they would have so much space for the animals and not have them available during what seemed to be the height of business, even in these temperatures.

“Excuse me, may I see your papers?”

Harry turned and found a Roman Soldier standing beside the group of them, arms folded and looking stern.

“Oh, uh, we don’t have any papers,” Harry said quickly. It had been a few years since he’d encountered anyone playing along to this extent, but he did find it fun. “Maybe you could keep that quiet from the authorities if I were to offer a gift?” 

The soldier looked at them and then at the plastic coin Harry was offering. “If each of you were to offer a gift, I could overlook this infraction,” the soldier said. 

Harry heard Gemma’s friends laugh and whisper about how much fun this was as each of them took a coin from their purses and handed it over. Upon collecting his “gifts”, the soldier nodded and continued on his way to the next group in order to follow up on their papers.

Anne and Robin returned shortly thereafter with cider for everyone, and that was when they were given the go ahead to enter Bethlehem proper.

Pulling out his phone, Harry quickly typed his message and sent it off.

_ Harry: We’re in. _


	13. Christmas 2018 - Year Six (Part 2)

The stalls were a little mixed up from how they had been the year before, but that didn’t really matter since there were three newbies with Gemma to whom everything was new. They decided that after the long wait in the cold, everyone could go at their own leisurely pace and check out anything that struck their fancy.

First stop was a bakery, where it just so happened that a friend of Michal’s from the soccer team was working. He was nice enough to sneak Gemma a free pastry everyone proceeded to share. Harry took a photo, and they moved on. 

It was as they stopped in Harry’s favorite woodworking stand to buy some trinkets with their coins that it all started.

Harry was paying for another miniature wooden hammer and his mom was bartering for a wooden bowl when Gemma came prancing over.

“Ahhh, there it is!” Gemma practically squealed at Harry as she pointed behind him.

Turning around, Harry saw Goat Woman bartering with a couple over the price of a rug a few stalls away. 

Harry pursed his lips and said, “Yes, indeed that  _ is _ a poncho.” 

There was actually a really nice blue one on the edge of the stall. Harry might have to purchase another tonight, if he liked it closer up as well. He loved the one he’d gotten last year, it was the perfect cozy layer for walking around his cold apartment.

“Shut up,” Gemma said, punching his arm. “You know that’s not what I mean. The weird thing is I don’t see your fiance.”

Harry rolled his eyes at Gemma and said, “Yeah, ‘cause I don’t  _ have _ a fiance.”

With that, Harry walked into the smithery next door. He knew he wouldn’t fool anyone because they didn’t have an actual fire going, so it was literally just a bored teenager hitting metal with a hammer, but it was the best he could do while improvising. He didn’t want to seem eager to get to Goat Woman, even though at this point he was a little antsy to see how it would all play out.

As he suspected, it took Gemma approximately fifteen seconds to come in after Harry and drag him towards the ponchos.

Goat Woman saw them coming and as soon as she finished with the couple who wanted the run.

“Ahhh, you’ve returned!” she said loudly, holding her arms out wide as if she were greeting old friends. Harry supposed in a strange way, she was. “I’m sure by now you’ve found a worthy husband for your son.”

“I’m afraid not,” Anne said, barely withholding her smile, but also sending Harry an almost reprimanding look. She loved this entirely too much. “Harry is still very much single.”

He was single, of course, but she sounded so  _ judgmental  _ about it. He liked being single, thankyouverymuch. Though, there was someone he wouldn’t mind being not-single with.

All the same, Harry couldn’t help the blush that rose on his face. He nervously looked around and found that with the loud cries from Goat Woman, a crowd had started to gather around them just in time to hear his mother proclaim him very single. Wonderful.

“No,” Goat Woman said, hand to her chest. “My dear, you are  _ far _ too old to be without a husband.”

Harry tried to chuckle, but he was getting nervous. There was a fairly large crowd gathering and Louis had yet to appear. Where was he? They’d given him plenty of time to arrive and, considering they had both agreed that Harry had the far more embarrassing end of the deal, he’d promised to be as timely as possible. 

“You know, you won’t be young forever,” Goat Woman said, taking Harry’s hand as she tried to get his attention back on her. Glancing at Anne and Robin, she continued. “He’s running out of time to find a suitable husband. I’m prepared to offer you thirty goats and ten chickens this year-”

“Mom, you didn’t start negotiations without me, did you? How are they supposed to know I’m the perfect husband for Harry if I’m not here for them to see how hot I am?”

It was Louis, of course, and Harry felt relief course through him.

Everyone turned towards where his voice had come from, and he looked so effortlessly cool, despite the fact he was wearing burlap in the fashion of what was supposedly popular around two-thousand years ago, all while surrounded by goats.

And a llama.

“That’s Harry’s fiance,” Gemma whispered to her friends, as if they hadn’t already figured that much out.

Goat Woman turned to Louis and put her hands on her hips. “Are you drunk?” she asked, looking a little worried.

“What?” Louis asked, obviously shocked and standing up straight at that. “No!”

His mom narrowed her eyes as if she didn’t believe him. When Michal started chuckling, Goat Woman turned and glanced at them and Harry had to look away to avoid her catching the smile that had quicky appeared as soon as Louis had. The crowd was even larger now, they had quite the audience at that point.

Taking a deep breath, Goat Woman pressed her fingers to her temples and turned back to Louis. “Then  _ why _ do you have all those goats?”

Harry couldn’t hold back his snort at that point, because really it seemed fairly obvious to him, but he’d been a part of the planning process so maybe it really wasn’t as obvious as it seemed. Luckily, no one seemed to notice because they were too invested in the drama that was now unfolding with Louis and his mom.

Relaxing that his mom seemed to believe him about the drinking, Louis leaned back against the stall and smirked. “Well, I thought that maybe the reason Harry’s parents hadn’t accepted your proposals before was because they didn’t believe we had the goats promised. So I brought goats. And a llama! I hear boys  _ love _ llamas when they’re being proposed to.”

“I think that’s actually an alpaca,” Robin pointed out.

Louis shrugged. “You’re probably right, but I’m adding this alpaca/llama to the list of whatever else it is my mom has offered for Harry today. We can ride it off into the sunset. What do you think, Harry?”

Harry scoffed, but that didn’t dim his smile. “I think it definitely won’t hold the both of us.”

“Are you sure you aren’t drunk?” Louis’ mom asked, rubbing her forehead. “That you haven’t been spending too much time at the- the tavern?” She was rubbing her forehead and looking at the crowd that had surrounded them at this point when her eyes widened. “Louis William, you better not be the reason everyone was panicking about the missing animals at the petting- er, the trading post!”

“I’m not drunk, Mom. Promise.” Harry only just held back his laughter over the fact he was blatantly ignoring her fears over the stolen animals. “I’m just excited to see my fiance.”

Louis walked over to his mom, handed her the leads to the animals trailing behind him, then walked up to Harry and wrapped him up in a hug. 

“How’re you doing, Hazza?”

Harry laughed, pulling him in closer for the hug. “I’m doing alright, Louis. How’d you do on your psych final?”

There was a gasp behind him, but he couldn’t tell if it was Gemma or his mom. Either way, the secret was out now.

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” Louis groaned as he tucked his face into Harry’s neck.

He knew it was all acting, it was all part of the ruse for their families, but Harry couldn’t help the chills that were rising up all over his body having Louis tucked into him so intimately. He loved it, and wished it were real. 

“Oh please, it couldn’t have been that bad, you had a better grade than I did going into it,” Harry said.

Louis pulled back but left his arm looped around Harry’s shoulders. “I guess, but I really was hoping for better than I got.”

“That’s fair.”

The two of them stood quietly wrapped up in each other as they glanced at their families’ faces as they pieced it all together. Meanwhile, the crowd looked a mixture of confused and amused, as if they couldn’t figure out if this had all been planned or not.

Louis’ mom was just opening her mouth to say something when Harry caught sight of a couple of Roman soldiers pushing their way through the crowd. 

Nudging Louis, Harry said, “We’ve got trouble, Lou.”


	14. Christmas 2018 - Year Six (Part 3)

Louis turned his head right as one of the soldiers yelled, “You! You stole the King’s animals!”

Louis didn’t even have the time to take his arm from around Harry before the soldiers grabbed him and pulled him away themselves.

“You, uh, have the right to remain silent,” one of the soldiers said, causing the other to roll his eyes.

“He doesn’t have any rights,” the guy said. 

“Right,” the first soldier said before looking at Louis again. “You  _ don’t _ have the right to remain silent.”

“Just take him to the King,” the other soldier said as he took the leads for the animals from Goat Woman. “This crime requires him to be tried at once.”

It was like that statement woke Louis up from the shock of the soldiers actually coming after him.

“Wait for me, Harry!” he cried as he was being dragged away. “I’ll come back for you!”

Harry’s cheeks and lungs hurt from trying to withhold his laughter at that point, so he finally let out a loud, honking laugh as tears started to roll down his cheeks. He bent over in an attempt to catch his breath easier as the crowd started to disperse, still confused as to what exactly had just happened. 

It had been too perfect! Nothing had really gone according to plan, but at the same time it had gone even  _ better _ than they could have hoped. They truly hadn’t thought Louis would actually get caught with the animals, but that ending was better than anything they could have planned.

Harry finally straightened and wiped his eyes, but his family and Louis’ mom were both still silent, probably from shock. Shrugging, Harry walked up to the blue poncho he’d eyed earlier and took it to Goat Woman.

“I’d like to buy this, please.”

She didn’t even try to barter, she just accepted the money Harry held out and let him make his way through the crowd as he continued towards the stalls that hadn’t been explored yet.

It didn’t take long for his family to catch up to him, and when they did, they were full of questions, just as he’d expected. The shopkeepers at the blown glass stand were whispering to each other as they studied Harry, but he couldn’t find it in himself to mind.

“What was that?” Anne asked, apparently the first to find her voice.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, pretending to be innocent as he took a few ornaments to the shopkeepers. “That was just the Goat Woman bartering for me like every year.”

“Nope, that wasn’t like every year,” Gemma said. “Since when do you know Goat Guy?”

“Oh, Louis? Since January.” Harry shrugged. “You knew that.”

“No, actually, I really did not,” Gemma said, her voice almost shrill.

“Sure you did, I talked about him,” Harry said, turning around. “He’s Louis from Psychology!”

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Anne asked. “That’s why you kept texting him while we were outside even though your hands were about to fall off from how cold it was.”

“I mean, basically. We did  _ not _ plan on him getting arrested, but that does seem like a pretty fun ending to the night, don’t you think?”

“How’d he steal the goats and the alpaca?” Robin asked, sounding almost awed. 

Harry laughed and handed the money to the shopkeepers before making his way out of the shop so he could head to the next stall, as if this were all a run of the mill time in Bethlehem. “He knows a guy,” he finally answered.

“But why?” Anne asked, looking absolutely baffled.

“Five years’ worth of revenge,” Harry said, filled with glee. 

“That’s not what’s important here,” Gemma cried. “Harry’s totally dating him! I called it.”

“We’re not dating,” Harry insisted again. 

“But you  _ want _ to be,” she argued, jabbing her finger in his chest.

“Ouch,” Harry whined, even though it didn’t hurt through all the layers he was wearing. 

The rest of the time they were in Bethlehem, Harry’s family wouldn’t leave him alone and Gemma’s friends and Michal couldn’t stop laughing with him over the entire spectacle. 

It didn’t help that every stall merchant they met somehow knew exactly who Harry was. He supposed he was wearing a pretty distinctive beanie, so maybe that was how they knew it was him, but it was incredibly amusing and a lot of fun to act along every time they would offer their condolences that his man had been locked up for simply trying to provide for his family.

As the group finally made their way towards the exit, they decided to get one last round of cider before leaving in an attempt to keep them warm on the drive home. As they stood in line, Harry heard his name being called.

Turning around, there was Louis. He was being kept in a cage that Harry was pretty sure usually held some sheep, surrounded by a group of soldiers. He was reaching out to Harry as he called his name.

“Harry! Do you mind sharing notes with me?” Louis asked, his eyes twinkling to match his wide smile. “Turns out I’m in here for nineteen years, so I’ll be missing some classes.”

Gemma and her friends all took turns getting photos with Louis and even made Harry pose with him. She claimed it would be for blackmail, but Harry knew she’d send it to him and tease him with it later. Harry didn’t mind. It would be fun to share with Niall, Liam, and Zayn as they explained how their plan came together.

Waving goodbye to Louis after they’d gotten their cider, Harry headed out with his family and couldn’t even find it in him to be annoyed this year when they, once again, couldn’t stop talking about Goat Guy and Goat Woman for the entire drive home.


	15. Spring Semester 2019 - Winter at School

“My mom is already planning something. I just don’t know what.”

Harry looked up from where he was trying to do his astronomy reading. It was incredibly boring, but at least the professor was entertaining. All the same, Louis was a welcome distraction.

“What do you mean? Like, for Bethlehem?”

Louis picked up a piece of pita and dipped it in the hummus Harry had spread out on the table in front of him before shoving it in his mouth and nodding.

“Yep. She won’t say anything, but I can just tell she is,” Louis said, pita causing his cheek to bulge out ridiculously.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think mine are planning something as well, but mostly all they’re doing is talking about how perfect we are for each other right now.” 

As soon as it was out of his mouth, Harry wished he hadn’t said that. It was more information than he meant to give Louis, especially considering he felt like everyone except Louis knew exactly how much of a crush he had on him. 

Taking a breath, Harry continued. “All I really know at this point is their revenge will definitely mean accepting your mom’s proposal this year.”

“Oh yeah, that’s basically a given,” Louis said, acting as if the fact Harry’s family thinks they’re perfect for each other wasn’t anything big. It felt big to him, but he was grateful for Louis brushing it off for now. “I think that we’ll need to start planning over the summer or at the very least the beginning of fall semester so we’re prepared.”

“Oh, yeah,” Harry said, nodding. “You know they’re going to want to get back at us for last time, so we have to go bigger and better this year somehow.”

“Exactly,” Louis said, nodding enthusiastically before grabbing more pita and hummus. “We’ve got time. I’m sure we’ll come up with something. We’re basically the dream team.”

Harry smiled. He loved it when Louis referred to them as the dream team. After hearing about how everything went down, it was the name Niall had given them and Louis and Harry had immediately loved it. Liam and Zayn still only referred to them as fiances, but Harry was also learning he liked the sound of that a little too much as well. 

It was best to focus on being the dream team, since Louis still hadn’t shown any interest in actually dating Harry, much less becoming actual fiances.

“I should get home and do my stats homework,” Louis said, sticking his tongue out. “I’m so glad this is my last math requirement. I think I’d die if I had to do more.”

“Pay attention and learn as much as you can so you can help me out when I hopefully am able to get into a class that works with my schedule next semester,” Harry reminded Louis. 

Louis was one of those people who was naturally good at math and just disliked it because he found it boring. Harry, on the other hand, hated it because it was like a foreign language that he couldn’t figure out. He hadn’t been able to get into a class this semester with Louis, so he had to put it off until next fall. He still wasn’t sure if he was pleased to not have to worry about it yet or more anxious about the fact it was still weighing over him. Either way, he hoped Louis would be able to help ease the way for him.

“Of course. I’m always here to help my dear Hazza fiance.” Louis winked as he stood up and put his coat back on. He’d barely shed it when he’d walked in five minutes ago. If he hadn’t been planning to stay, Harry wondered why he had even bothered. “See you tomorrow!”

After Louis rushed out of the apartment with a cold breeze and the slamming of Harry’s overloud front door, Harry took in the silence. His apartment always felt empty after Louis left, but having him there for even five minutes like he had tonight was worth it.

Turning back to his astronomy book, Harry did his best to focus so he could get the reading finished and move on to something better.

*~~***~~*

Harry sat down at the booth Niall and Liam had claimed and looked around.

“Where’s Louis?”

The smile slid off Niall’s face. “Wait, you don’t know?”

Harry snatched one of Niall’s fries and shook his head. “Know what? I figured he’d be here since he loves pub quiz nights.”

“Oh man, look at that, I’ve gotta go get a refill,” Niall said before practically bolting out of the booth despite the fact that his soda was still mostly full.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Harry demanded of Liam. “Why’s he acting like a spooked cat?”

“It’s just… Louis’ on a date tonight,” Liam said, apologetic look on his face.

“Oh,” Harry said, unable to find anything else to say. 

There was an ache in his chest and a funny feeling in his stomach due to the news, but it made sense. Louis was a gorgeous guy who was funny and kind and generous, and if Harry was being honest, he’d been wondering why Louis hadn’t been snatched up yet anyway. For all he knew, Louis hadn’t been on a date since they had started hanging out, and that in and of itself was just odd.

“Well, good for him,” Harry finally said before grabbing another of Niall’s fries and shoving it into his mouth.

“Really?” Liam asked, his eyebrows lifted. “You don’t have to pretend with us, you know. We know how much you like him.”

“Oh, come on, Liam,” Harry said, rolling his eyes. “I’m not pathetic. I know that Louis’ going to go on dates and eventually find himself a boyfriend that he loves and that treats him the way he deserves. I also know that’s never going to be me, so I might as well get used to it.”

“What?” Liam asked, leaning forward onto the table and looking even more confused than he was before. “You’re not making any sense. What are you talking about?”

Harry shook his head. “What did I say that didn’t make any sense?”

Liam opened his mouth to speak, but Zayn threw himself down onto the seat beside Liam holding up their playing card and pencil. “You ready to trash everyone else in here?”

“You mean, are we ready to take down everyone else because they’re already drunk and we’re totally underage and sober still?” Harry asked, laughing. “Sure, bring it on. But first, I’m going to get my own food. I need more than just loaded fries.”

Harry walked over to the bar and waited his turn, his mind reeling over the news of Louis going on a date. It made sense, but the knowledge didn’t make him feel any better.

Ordering far more greasy food than he usually allowed himself and paying way more than he had budgeted for the evening, Harry took his number and sat back down at the booth, pasting on a smile.

Time to have fun, or as much fun as he could while distracted by the thought of Louis out on a date with another boy.


	16. Fall Semester 2019 - Fall at School

“I knew he was no good, I don’t know why I let it go on as long as I did,” Louis whined, throwing himself down on Harry’s couch.

As much as Harry didn’t care for Louis talking about his boyfriend— or, well,  _ ex- _ boyfriend now, he supposed— he  _ did _ like how it felt having Louis spend time in his apartment again. Over the course of the end of spring semester and the first two weeks of the fall, Louis had been surprisingly absent. Harry had thought they were good enough friends that he wouldn’t be pushed to the wayside when Louis started dating someone, but apparently not. Even though he knew it was selfish, Harry was happy to have him back.

“Yes you do,” Liam said from the kitchen where he was dishing out more of the lasagna Harry had made for dinner that night. “I believe it had something to do with the stellar blow jobs.”

Louis waved his hand around as he said, “It doesn’t matter how great the guy is at giving blow jobs, that doesn’t make up for a lack of character.”

Harry shifted uncomfortably. He wasn’t often worried or ashamed in any way about his lack of experience in bed, but whenever Louis spoke flippantly about the experience  _ he _ had, it made Harry feel unworthy. Of what, he wasn’t sure, because he never thought he had a chance with Louis anyway. 

“You need a good guy, Lou,” Zayn lectured from the table. “Not some random jock who’s trying to figure out if he’s willing to admit to himself that he’s actually into guys.”

“I know,” Louis wailed, practically lamenting, “but where do I find a guy like that?”

Harry wanted to jump up and down, waving his hands around as he said,  _ Here! I’m right here! I’m a decent guy who would treat you well and be everything you deserve! _ But of course he didn’t. Instead he settled for making eye contact with Liam, who shrugged at Harry and looked apologetic.

“I’m sure he’s right in front of you and you don’t even realize,” Zayn said before taking a big bite of lasagna.

“Yeah, probably,” Louis said with a sigh. Sitting up, he looked around and smiled when he saw Harry had dished lasagna out for him and placed it in front of him on the coffee table. “Thanks, H. You’re the best.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry said, softly.

They all ate in silence for a few minutes before Louis gasped and clapped his hands. “I’ve got it!”

“Got what?” Liam asked.

“I know exactly how to distract myself from my dick of an ex!”

“Other than tutoring me in stats?” Harry asked, hoping Louis hadn’t forgotten about his promise. He really did need the help. They were only a few classes in, and he was already struggling to understand what the hell his professor was talking about.

“Yes, yes. Of course, other than that.” Louis looked at Harry with a twinkle in his eye. “We have to plan what we’re going to do in Bethlehem this year.”

“Oh God,” Zayn moaned. “Why? Why can’t you just retire all of this after last year? That’s the perfect way to end it all, don’t you think?”

“My parents won’t allow that to be the end,” Harry said, firmly. “They won’t let me out of going this year, and I  _ know _ they’re going to accept his mom’s proposal, so whatever we do, it’s gotta be big. They’re going to try to retaliate for what we did last year, and that only means we have to do even  _ more _ than we did last time.”

“Exactly,” Louis agreed, shoving another bite in his mouth. “This lasagna really is amazing, Hazza. I don’t know how you do it.”

Blushing, Harry looked down at his plate and kept eating.

“So, anyway,” Louis said as he swallowed the bite he’d taken. “Everyone needs to get thinking. My sisters are more than willing to help, so that’s good, but we need to have this really organized. Not just some slap-dash plan put together at the last minute like it was last year.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. We can think on it and start really planning around midterms. Sound good?”

Everyone agreed to think on it, even though Liam and Zayn didn’t really know how to help considering they’d never  _ been _ to Bethlehem, and that was that.

*~~***~~*

“I have the best news,” Louis said happily as he dropped his wet coat and kicked off his shoes. Sometimes Harry wondered why they always ended up at his place when technically Louis, Zayn, and Niall had a larger and nicer apartment than Liam and Harry did, but for once Louis’ visit to the apartment was planned.

“It’s rained so much the campus is flooded so I don’t have to go to my stats midterm tomorrow?” Harry asked hopefully. He was scared out of his mind about his exam and he wasn’t sure how it was going to go. The fact it was worth around a quarter of his final grade in the class didn’t help ease his mind at all, either.

“You wish,” Louis said with a chuckle. “No, Lottie is dating one of the soldiers.”

Harry shook his head. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Lottie, my sister? The one who just turned eighteen? She’s dating one of the Roman soldiers.”

“Okay,” Harry said before his brain fully emerged from his stats induced fog. “Ohhhhhhh, that could be very helpful.”

“Right?” Louis said, flopping down beside Harry on the couch. “I already asked her to see if he’d be willing to sneak around with us in case we need him. And, let’s be real, considering how last year ended, I’m guessing we’re going to need at least one of the soldiers in on whatever plan we think up.”

“True,” Harry agreed. 

So far, they still hadn’t gotten many details down, but they did have some vague ideas. It was a much more complex idea than last year’s had been already, but it needed to be, so they were already excited. With more players on their side, they had more flexibility and they were ready to see how far they could take it.

“As much as I’d love to keep planning that instead, I really do need help for this test. I need to do better than the C+ I got last time.” Harry winced apologetically at Louis. 

“Right, right. Sorry. Studying first, planning the cool stuff after the exam.”

“Yes, thank you,” Harry said with a relieved sigh.

Louis grabbed Harry’s notes and settled in so his entire side was flush against Harry’s. Normally, he would prefer Louis quiz him from where he couldn’t see his own notes, but at this point there was nothing that could pull Harry from Louis’ side. Instead, he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, doing the best he could to focus on Louis’ questions and answer correctly.


	17. Fall Semester 2019 - Finals Week

Harry was freezing. He hated the fact that he never could figure out how Louis made it into his apartment when the door was locked, and yet he had to wait in the cold and rain at Louis’ since he didn’t have those same abilities.

“Harold, what are you doing out there in the cold? Get inside!” Louis cried as he opened the door, rushing Harry inside.

“The door was locked, what was I supposed to do?” Harry asked, shivering a little as he handed the plate of freshly made gingersnaps over to Louis.

Once Harry had kicked off his shoes and hung up his coat, he turned back to Louis, surprised he hadn’t said anything. Louis was standing there, face squished up in confusion.

“What?” Harry asked. 

“Don’t you have a key?” Louis asked. “I thought I gave you a key months ago.”

Harry took the gingersnaps back and started walking into the apartment. This was meant to be a planning meeting, but it had started off strangely already.

“I have no idea who you actually gave a key to, if you did to anyone, but it wasn’t me.” After he sank into Louis’ shitty couch and pulled the wet plastic wrap off the cookies, Harry turned back to Louis and asked, “Why would you have given me a key, anyway?”

“Well, because I don’t want you having to wait in the cold and the rain for someone to answer the door, obviously,” Louis said. His voice sounded weird, though, like he didn’t even believe the excuse himself.

“Sure,” Harry said, before popping a cookie in his mouth. Once he’d swallowed and Louis still hadn’t sat down, Harry said, “Well, I’ll accept a key whenever you wanna give me one, but know I’m not expecting it or anything. I’d give you one to my place too, but you don’t seem to need it.”

That finally got Louis snapping out of whatever had him acting weird. It was probably lack of sleep. Louis had had a difficult biology final that morning and had admitted to not sleeping much the past few days as he prepared for it.

“Yeah, I’ve got my ways. No need to give me a key.” Louis winked and threw himself down beside Harry. “Oh my God, you’re freezing. Come here.”

Louis grabbed the blanket that was smashed down into the cushions with the random throw pillow beside him, and then spread it out over the two of them. Harry did already feel warmer, but he wasn’t sure if it was because Louis was so concerned about him or if the blanket really was that effective so quickly.

“Thanks, Lou,” Harry said softly before holding out the cookies. “Is anyone else joining us for our planning session?”

“Nah, they’re holed up at the library or at work,” Louis said, sighing. “I feel kinda guilty doing this when both of us should be studying, but we’ll help each other work on our Psych stuff after, right?”

“Of course,” Harry said, mouth still full of cookie. 

“You’re disgusting,” Louis said with a smile, his mouth just as full.

Harry just widened his eyes and made a ridiculous face, resulting in Louis choking on his bite of cookie.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Harry started rubbing Louis’ back gently as he leaned forward to cough. “I think patting your back is bad in this situation, rubbing is supposed to be better? Shit, or was it rubbing that was worse? For some reason I think it was the patting on the back that could actually help lodge the objects in someone’s air tract, so I think that’s the one that’s bad, even though everyone always tries that automatically and—”

“Harry,” Louis croaked, leaning back enough to look Harry in the eyes. “Shut the fuck up.”

Louis’ eyes were filled with tears and his face was red, but he was obviously okay.

“Fine, I won’t try to save your life,” Harry said, folding his arms before he changed his mind. “I  _ will _ offer a glass of milk, though. Assuming one of you guys has some that hasn’t gone bad in the fridge.”

“Yeah, mine’s good,” Louis said, still coughing a little as Harry made his way to the kitchen. “Do the whole milk. The skim is definitely bad because Niall keeps claiming he’s going to eat healthy but then never actually drinks it because it tastes like shit.”

Harry snorted, but found the mostly empty half-gallon of whole milk still fresh, as Louis promised. The skim looked like the container was starting to protrude a little bit, Niall really should take care of that soon. It was going to be rank.

Dividing what was left between two cups, Harry tossed the container into the trash and brought the milk with him back into the living room.

“Here. Drink this. Hopefully it’ll help.”

Louis did, but arched his brow and watched Harry as he did so. “I really wasn’t going to die because I inhaled a piece of one of your cookies.”

Harry stuck out his lower lip as he sat down beside Louis, careful to not upset their drinks. “You don’t know that for sure.”

“Of course I don’t,” Louis said, patting Harry on the shoulder. “Thank you for being overly concerned, even if it wasn’t warranted. And definitely don’t pat someone on their back if they’re choking. It  _ can _ cause the object to lodge in their airway, like you said.”

“Good to know,” Harry said, smiling a little in self satisfaction that he’d correctly remembered what to do in a moment of almost-crisis. “So, let’s plan. I’m assuming Lottie got back with you about her boyfriend?”

“Yes! Roman soldier is more than happy to help us out. So, here’s what I was thinking…”


	18. Christmas 2019 - Year Seven (Part 1)

It was incredible how one year could make such a difference. For one, instead of it being freezing cold with a ton of snow, Michigan had decided to deliver temperatures that bordered on the cusp of freezing so they were essentially getting rained and slushed on. It was far less Christmassy feeling, but Harry wasn’t going to bemoan the slightly warmer weather.

This year also found Harry just as anxious for the excitement to happen, but far more nervous as well. This year Goat Woman (whom Harry had come to call Jay over the past few months) as well as Harry’s family knew plans were likely to be made. They would be on high alert and probably had plans of their own. 

Harry had wanted to work information out of them while he was still at school. He wasn’t going to get home in time after his last final to do more than drop his bags and leave for Bethlehem. It didn’t give him much time to wear his parents down for information on what their own plans might be. He’d been too busy between finals and planning his and Louis’ own fun for this year to do so, though. Which only left him the time they had in the incredibly long line to enter Bethlehem to try to work it out of them.

Since Gemma had brought Michal with her again, Harry figured he might as well start with them and see what information he could glean.

“Michal, I’m kind of surprised you decided to come back after everything last year,” Harry said. He liked Michal and was glad that he and Gemma seemed to be getting more serious. He really was surprised he returned with the family, though. It had been a cold and much longer experience than he’d anticipated beforehand.

“Oh God, I wouldn’t miss it!” Michal said, looking more excited than he had all evening. “Last year was so insane, I had to see what would happen this year.”

“He seriously wouldn’t shut up about the Goat Woman’s face when I told him what night we’d be attending,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes. “For real, though, I think you’re getting yourself a husband tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda what I’m figuring too,” Harry said as they took a few steps forward in line. “What do you guys have planned for it?”

Harry tried his best to level her with a knowing glare, but he never had been very good at those. Gemma just laughed.

“Listen, we talked about it. We considered it. We even started making a plan.” Gemma shrugged. “But then we realized it actually takes a lot of work and we just didn’t care enough to do that, so nothing to worry about on our end.”

Harry narrowed his eyes and studied both Gemma and Michal’s faces. “I feel like you’re lying to me.”

“Why the hell would I be lying to you?” Gemma asked, perhaps a little too loudly.

“Gemma! Don’t curse when we’re this close to the birthplace of Christ!” Anne scolded.

“Mom, it’s not like we’re  _ actually _ near Bethlehem. I’m sure it’s fine.”

“There are children around, too,” Anne said, pulling her coat tightly around her as the wind gusted a little. “Just be cautious with your surroundings.”

Once Anne turned back around to Robin, Gemma nodded. “Now I know for a fact that  _ they _ have something planned. She’s been tight-lipped about it, though, so better start working your charms on them if you want to make any headway before we go into the petting zoo and cider area.”

Harry begrudgingly agreed. Mostly because Gemma was a shit liar and she wouldn’t have been able to get through the entire conversation without letting on to something, but also because he’d known going into this that his parents were the bigger threat.

“So what are you most excited about this year?” Harry asked as he moved forward to stand beside his mom and Robin.

Anne looked at him suspiciously. “I always like seeing what kinds of bowls and other kitchenwares the wood-working stall has,” she said coyly before turning to Robin. “What about you, honey?”

“I’m not sure I have anything specific in mind,” Robin said, stroking his chin ridiculously. “I was mostly excited to see what kinds of blankets the woman who is usually stationed by the exit might have. We need a new one for the couch in the family room, you know.”

Anne quickly agreed and they went into detail about the various colors and designs they might want for that couch as Harry sighed. His mother was the best secret keeper he knew. He didn’t know why he thought he would be able to get any information out of her at all.

“So, Harry, why aren’t you texting Louis non-stop like you were last year?”

Harry scrunched his nose and looked at her. “We aren’t actually fully attached at the hip, you know.”

“Of course you aren’t, honey,” Anne said, patting him on the shoulder. “But he  _ is _ quite cute, and you two do seem to spend a lot of time together at school.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “He is very good looking, good catch, Mom.”

“Okay, but really.” Anne turned to him and folded her arms in front of her chest. “You couldn’t stay off your phone in the freezing cold last year. Are you two not up to anything this year?”

“What is there to plan? How could we ever do better than we had last year?” Harry asked, hoping his lying had improved. He’d practiced in the mirror to look innocent while saying various lines in response to the hypothetical questioning he  _ knew _ he would get at some point during the wait. 

“I don’t trust you one bit, Harry Styles,” Anne said, trying to hold back a grin. “My son would never let us off that easy.”

Rolling his eyes but unable to hide his smile, Harry just shook his head. There wasn’t really a good way to answer her, anyway. 

The line moved, and they approached the centurions guarding the entrance. It was almost time.


	19. Christmas 2019 - Year Seven (Part 2)

Once Harry and his family had gotten their coins, they decided to wait in line for cider before heading over to the animals. While it wasn’t as cold as last year, the moisture in the air made it feel worse somehow, and Harry needed something to warm him to his core.

“Are you sure there’s nothing going on with you and the Goat Guy, though?” Michal asked. “I seriously saw some chemistry before he was arrested.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I swear, we’re just friends.” It was left unspoken that he  _ wished _ they were dating, but he was really hoping his family wouldn’t recognize that fact just yet. He needed to survive tonight’s plan first.

Once they’d gotten their ciders, they headed over to the animals.

“Oh my God, there’s so many more soldiers around them this year,” Gemma said, laughing and elbowing Harry. “This is all your fault, you know.”

“Technically not my fault,” Harry pointed out. “Louis’ fault.”

That didn’t change the fact that several of the soldiers that Harry recognized from previous years kept a close eye on him. As if  _ Harry _ was the one they had to worry about doing something. He was the one Jay was trying to purchase, not the other way around.

“The soldiers don’t seem to trust you,” Michal said, chuckling quietly.

“Am I still allowed to pet the animals?” Harry asked one, outright. 

He’d not taken his eyes off of Harry the entire time, but the direct question made him blush a little and nod.

“Thanks,” Harry said, smiling a little.

He used it as an excuse to look at the soldiers guarding the entrance to Bethlehem proper. There was one with dark hair and a tattoo on his hand, just like Louis had said to look for. He winked at Harry, but otherwise kept his place at the door.

Not time yet.

Harry spent much longer at the petting zoo than he had the past few years, but no one questioned him. His mom was getting to the point of claiming he was just trying to put off going into Bethlehem in order to cause more trouble, which wasn’t entirely untrue, when Harry looked up at the soldier and finally got a little nod before he whispered to his cohort and vanished.

That was also when another soldier came up to them and demanded to see their papers before they could enter Bethlehem. Harry’s family paid the usual bribe, and then started their venture inside.

Now Harry started getting nervous. The vendors were all jumbled up again. Harry had hoped that since Bethlehem hadn’t expanded much this year, that things would be in roughly the same place, but he was wrong. 

That… caused a bit of an issue for them. There were parts of the plan that depended quite a bit on timing, and how could he make sure he had the timing right if he didn’t know when he’d run into Jay’s stall?

Harry did his best to check out the upcoming stalls as he surreptitiously called Louis repeatedly, but Louis wasn’t answering his phone.

Because of course he wasn’t. Louis had a horrible habit of being glued to his phone until the very moment Harry  _ needed _ him to answer, and of course it was happening again tonight of all nights.

They’d made it to the nativity scene, which was also far earlier than it usually was, but Harry couldn’t even appreciate the adorable Baby Jesus because he was too busy texting Louis repeatedly in an effort to get him to answer his damn phone. Harry really wanted to know where Jay’s stall was in relation to the nativity scene so he could be somewhat prepared and make sure they were doing alright timing wise.

Still, no answer.

“Hey, more cider,” Michal said, pointing. “This stuff really is kinda addictive.”

“I’ll go get us some more,” Harry offered. He could text far more easily if he was away from his family anyway. He took orders to see who else wanted more and walked to the cider line in order to see if he could find Jay’s stall on his own since Louis was ignoring him.

Harry was almost to the cider when a girl in Bethlehem clothes waved at him. Realizing it was Louis’ sister Lottie, Harry checked to make sure his family wasn’t watching him and he walked over to her.

“Have you seen him yet?” Lottie asked.

“No,” Harry scoffed. This was  _ not _ part of the plan. “I thought he was supposed to be with you? Why isn’t he answering his phone?”

“The wind knocked something over and someone came and got him to help with it, but that was ages ago,” Lottie said, looking around them. “I thought he’d be back by now.”

Sighing, Harry checked on his family and saw they still hadn’t made much progress.

“Okay, well where’s your mom’s stand? That’s what I was most worried about, timing wise, though his not being back isn’t making me feel better about it,” Harry admitted.

Lottie gave him the general area, and he gave her a brief hug in thanks for her help before returning to the cider line.

“Wow, it’s like you haven’t made any progress at all,” Anne commented when she saw him at the end of the line still. 

“Oh, there were cold little kids, I had to let them go ahead of me,” Harry said, quickly. Luckily there were two families with young ones ahead of him, so it seemed feasible.

They continued to make their way towards where he knew Jay’s stall was located, and tried to calm his heart when he still didn’t catch sight of Louis.  _ Technically, _ that wasn’t an issue. He could have already found Lottie and might be in position, waiting. Harry had to trust in Louis and hope for the best, leaving his worries for more important things like whether there would still be cupcakes at the exit.

In hindsight, Harry really should have worried.


	20. Christmas 2019 - Year Seven (Part 3)

“There it is!” Gemma called, pointing.

Yes. There it was. Jay was standing in front of her shop filled with ponchos looking exactly as smug as Harry and Louis both had figured she would be when she caught sight of Harry’s family. The only issue was, Harry looked everywhere around him and couldn’t see Louis anywhere.

“Ahh, why hello!” Jay called out, her arms wide as usual. “Come on in, it’s the perfect time to chat. How are you doing on this fine evening? You children are getting more and more beautiful as time goes on. I’m assuming you’ve found husbands for them by now?”

All of them shuffled closer to Jay, and upon her starting her usual line of questioning, Gemma and Harry said, “Yes!” in chorus.

Harry always tried to lie, it never worked.

“No,” Anne said, looking at Harry shrewdly. “Harry is still single.”

Sighing, Harry continued looking around, getting more and more panicked. The plan was already going awry, and Louis was  _ still _ nowhere to be seen.

The issue was they had set up their plan in phases. This was a very important part they had called Phase One. 

Phase one was simple. Louis had to be in place at or near his mom’s stall when Harry and his family approached, but  _ especially _ by the time she got to commenting on Harry’s love life. Before she ever started the bartering, Louis would interrupt, profess his love for Harry, and propose. Harry would, of course, accept, and Louis would say something along the lines of, “Let’s do it, right here, right now.” They would then commence to Phase Two.

Louis not being there for a part of the plan that relied quite heavily on his presence and action meant that nothing good could come of this and Harry was concerned.

“Oh, you really must be finding him a husband before all the good ones are taken!” Jay said, her rant obviously getting started and going just as hard as it always did. “You don’t want to live your entire life a spinster! You’re getting far too old to be without a husband. Soon you won’t be able to find any worth having, you know.”

“Thanks for the confidence boost,” Harry muttered, making Michal laugh. Seriously, though, where was Louis?

“You are in luck, though, because I still have a son who is also not married!” Jay proclaimed, just as Harry knew she would. 

Giving her a nervous smile, Harry looked around even more anxiously for Louis, who still didn’t appear. Harry was going to kill him.

“I will give you thirty-two goats, thirteen chickens, and a llama in exchange for Harry’s hand in marriage to my son!” Jay offered. 

_ Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.  _ Louis was almost there now, Harry could see him, but he was caught behind a group of kids dressed in Bethlehem clothes playing some sort of a game. It was adorable, but Louis was already too late. Their plan had been ruined already.

“Sorry,” Robin said, and Harry thought he’d heard wrong. 

Sorry? Robin and Anne were surely going to easily accept that offer. 

“Harry is worth much more than just that.”

What the fuck? Thoughts were running through Harry’s head as he tried to process everything around him. Why the hell were his parents declining that offer when it was what Anne had said previously they would easily accept? Why were his parents smiling so wide? Why was  _ Jay _ grinning like the Cheshire Cat? What was going on?

“Of course he is,” Jay said, nodding and folding her arms. “Would a camel change anything?”

“Oh God,” Harry moaned, looking to see where Louis was. This was a  _ nightmare. _ He was still too far away, and now his mom had somehow stumbled upon the one thing Robin would absolutely sell him for.

“Oh, shit,” Gemma said, sounding almost gleeful. 

Harry looked back and saw Jay pulling something from her robes.  _ A small toy camel.  _

“No,” Harry said. At this point he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to to laugh or cry. Who knew this whole charade could become  _ this _ ridiculous when it had all started seven years ago? Where was Louis? He really needed to witness the genius of his mom. How had she found out? She had to be a magician or something.

Harry glanced back Louis’ way and saw he had finally gotten past the kids, but was still dodging large crowds in his attempt to make it. Harry could only infuse as much emotion as possible into his eyes telling him he was absolutely, one-hundred percent, too late.

“A camel definitely changes things,” Robin said, holding out his hand for the toy camel. He held it up, looking triumphant and excited. Harry felt he hardly knew the man in that moment. “We accept your terms. Congratulations, Harry! You’re getting married.”

That was, of course, when Louis finally appeared. 

Louis still knew nothing of what had happened. He thought Phase One was still in action. He had no way to know that behind Harry, Robin was standing ecstatically holding a camel he would probably name something ridiculous like “New Harry” and would prize for the rest of his days.

Harry tried again to tell Louis it was too late simply with facial expressions, but of course it didn’t work. They really needed to work on their non-verbal communication.

“Harry!” Louis said, opening his arms wide and getting down on one knee, likely ready to express his (fake) undying devotion. “I’m so glad to see you again! I need to tell you how ardently and—“

“Louis!” Jay interrupted. “I have the greatest news.”

Louis froze, looking at Harry in confusion before looking at his mom from where he was kneeling on the ground. 

“Really?” he asked, slowly.

Harry covered his eyes. He didn’t want to watch this.

“Yes!” Jay practically cheered as she grabbed his hands and helped him stand again. She cupped his cheek and gave him a big kiss before saying, “You missed it! I’ve finally bought you a husband!”

It was then, Harry assumed by the shift in Louis’ gaze and the changes in his facial expression, that Louis caught sight of the camel Robin was holding. He froze and glanced at Harry for a moment before turning back to his mom.

A grin spread wide across his face, and Harry was confused, until Louis said, “Fantastic!” He turned back to Harry, grabbed his hands and said, “Harry! We can finally be together.”

“I know!” Harry said, trying to get his wits back about him. Maybe they could somehow get this back on track with their original plan? Maybe? He stepped into Louis’ arms and gave him a hug.

“Okay, but seriously, are Harry and Goat Guy actually dating?” Michal asked, none-too-quietly.

“No, he has a boyfriend,” Gemma said shrugging. “I follow him on Instagram.”

“Louis, or the boyfriend?” Michal asked at the same time Harry turned around and said, “They broke up awhile ago, actually. You’re behind on the news.”

“And isn’t Goat Guy supposed to be in jail for another eighteen years anyway?” Michal asked, changing the subject again. As if the moment wasn’t chaotic enough.

“Harry,” Louis said, bringing Harry’s attention back to him. Louis took both of Harry’s hands in his own and held them to his chest. Harry did his best to pretend he wasn’t flummoxed by this, but he wasn’t sure he was doing a good job of it. “There’s nothing keeping us apart anymore. Let’s do this. Let’s get married. Right here, right now. There’s a chapel nearby where we can get married tonight.”

“What?” Anne asked, surprised. 

Ignoring her, Harry said, “Yes, let’s do it. Let’s go get married.”

Louis smiled brightly, gave Harry a quick kiss on the cheek, and then dropped one of his hands so he could more easily guide Harry, their families, and anyone else who had gathered around to watch at this point towards where Harry presumed the fake chapel for fake Bethlehem was.

Despite everything, it seemed they were actually able to move on to Phase Two.


	21. Christmas 2019 - Year Seven (Part 4)

Phase Two was still commencing against all odds, but that was also where things got more complicated because, naturally, more people were involved. So far, so good, though. Harry did his best to focus on the fact that perhaps their plan could all come together in the way they’d hoped.

When Louis pulled Harry into the chapel, Harry couldn’t help but laugh. It was decked out in fake flowers and the best finery a bunch of college kids could afford. The best part, though, was Niall standing dressed as a modern day priest at the altar, with Zayn and Liam helping usher Jay, Harry’s family, and any other people that had followed them to the chapel into various pews. Lottie came up to Harry and placed a plastic tiara on his head that read  _ Bride _ on it, and Felicite, the girl Harry had met years ago at the cider stand, put a sash on Louis that read  _ Husband. _

“Louis said you’d prefer a tiara,” Lottie explained. “We couldn’t find one that said husband, so hope you don’t mind being called the bride.”

Harry chuckled and shook his head. “No, he’s right. I do like the tiara.”

It was then he finally realized why Felicite looked so familiar when he’d met her at the stand. 

“Oh my God, you look just like your mom!” Harry gasped. 

She smiled, and that just proved even more how much resemblance there was. It was incredible, really.

“Ready, fiance?” Louis asked, holding his arm out. 

“Yeah,” Harry said, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

When Harry turned around, he realized some of the decorations were very likely taken from around the town of Bethlehem. He vaguely wondered if they had permission to use them, but figured the answer was likely no and he didn’t really want to dwell on that.

“What’s happening?” Anne asked loud enough that Harry could hear her from where she was seated at the front. 

“A wedding,” Liam said, smiling at her widely as he made sure everyone was seated where they needed to be for the wedding to commence.

Once Liam was pleased with the set up, he gave Louis and Harry a nod, then he and Zayn positioned themselves on either side of the altar while Louis led Harry down the small aisle.

Harry couldn’t help it. He giggled the entire way and was almost to the point of tears. The looks on his mom and Robin’s faces, not to mention Jay’s, had him near convulsions he was laughing so hard. They obviously had no idea this could possibly happen, and that just made it even better.

“Dearly beloved,” Niall started, which just sent Louis and Harry into another round of laughter, “We are gathered here today to witness the joining together of Louis and Harry in Holy Matrimony.”

At that, Harry could hear Gemma and Michal joining in the laughter. Niall continued talking, but there was no way Harry could take it in, he was laughing too hard and enjoying the fact that Louis was laughing just as hard as he was. Their parents all looked more shocked and confused than anything, but that added to the fun.

“Now,” Niall said, controlling his laughter far better than Harry or Louis were, he looked out across the crowd. “If there is anyone who feels these two should not be joined together today, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Harry glanced back at Louis and found him barely holding his laughter in, his eyes bright blue. It was then Harry wondered if he’d ever actually seen anyone quite so beautiful.

He tore his eyes away, though, because now was the time for their parents to speak up and object to the wedding if they were going to.

Harry looked and could tell that Jay as well as his parents were both debating as to whether they should be objecting. It made sense. Did they actually want their children getting married— in a ceremony that had equal possibility of being legal and binding as well as being entirely fake— in a fake chapel in the middle of fake Bethlehem right before Christmas? With no photos or documentation other than hearsay and the word of strangers who just happened to catch sight of the scene they had caused before traipsing off to the chapel?

Then again, no more than ten minutes had passed since they had collectively agreed to the wedding between them. Imaginary animals (and one very real toy camel) had been part of the negotiations and there were more than enough witnesses to the fact they had actually planned for this to happen. If they were to object, Harry or Louis could use that against them to nullify their objections. What were they to do?

Harry loved seeing the confusion fight it out on their faces.

They didn’t need to worry, though, because then Greg James entered. 

It was now time for Phase Three.


	22. Christmas 2019 - Year Seven (Part 5)

Phase Three began when Greg entered with as much of a flourish as he could into a fake chapel without doors in fake Bethlehem. His tall, lanky form came rushing in as he called, “Wait!”

Everyone in the chapel turned to him, even more confused.

No one in attendance, outside of Louis and Niall, had ever met Greg. That was part of the brilliance of including him in the plan, and only now was Harry truly happy Greg was the one they had chosen for this particular role.

Greg had been in one of Louis’ drama elective courses, and they’d become quick friends. Harry and Greg had tried to meet, but it hadn’t worked out schedule wise for them until now. Either way, Greg had heard  _ everything _ about Louis’ fiance and had been begging for months to be a part of their plot when they came up with one. 

Apparently, he’d been ecstatic when Louis had finally come to him with his proposed role. 

_ Apparently, _ Greg was also the guy that Gemma thought Louis had been dating, because it was then that Harry heard her stage whisper, “That’s Goat Guy’s boyfriend.”

“I thought Harry said they broke up?” Michal said.

Things were already getting messy, and Greg’s part had barely started. That certainly didn’t bode well.

If things went according to plan for Phase Three, Greg would object to the wedding. He would pronounce his love for Louis, which would then cause Louis to have the “sudden realization” that he was actually also in love with  _ Greg, _ and propose to him instead. Which, as far as any of the attendees knew, was fine. Because in  _ real life _ maybe Louis loved Greg and Greg loved Louis and they were meant to be. Louis would then propose “for real”, and they would ride off into the sunset together on a llama or whatever other animal happened to be available in that part of Bethlehem at the time.

Naturally, this all fell apart and very quickly. The one thing they hadn’t planned on was Greg’s ridiculously  _ huge _ dramatic and impulsive streak. 

“Thank you for waiting, I would have been absolutely  _ lost _ if I’d missed the wedding of the century!” Greg cried before sitting down with a flourish on the groom’s side of the chapel.

“That was Goat Guy’s boyfriend,” Gemma whispered, probably to Anne. 

Harry didn’t have time to worry about any of that, because the wedding wasn’t being called off by Greg. Without him interrupting and making Louis supposedly realize he actually loved him instead, how was the wedding going to be interrupted? It couldn’t go on, not really. Niall being who he was, he might have gotten ordained just for kicks and giggles, and if they were to finish the wedding only to learn it had been legally binding,  _ then _ where would Harry and Louis be?

A million scenarios were running through Harry’s head about how this was all going wrong and could ruin everything for both of them when they’d just wanted to end this whole charade with their parents once and for all. Not a single one was actually helpful in getting them out of their current predicament.

Louis looked just as panicked when Harry finally met his eyes again. All laughter had stopped. What were they to do?

Harry shrugged, Louis nodded, and they both turned back to Niall who floundered for a moment and then smiled widely.

Right. The wedding was back on. Apparently.

“Do you, Louis, take this man to be your husband?” Niall asked, sounding even more official than he had before, if that was possible. “To live together in holy matrimony, to love him in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Louis said, looking into Harry’s eyes.

Harry could hardly breathe. This felt real. The look in Louis’ eyes seemed even more real. But this was still very much  _ not _ real. Right?

Oh God. What was going to happen if they actually finished this entire wedding and their parents thought they were married? They wouldn’t think Harry and Louis were  _ actually _ married, would they? What about the rest of the crowd? What were Harry and Louis meant to do after this? Just walk down the aisle as if they really were husbands and then leave Bethlehem for the night? They didn’t have a backup plan for this!

“And do you, Harry, take—“

“This marriage cannot go through!”

“Oh thank God,” Harry muttered, forehead leaning forward onto Louis’ shoulder.


	23. Christmas 2019 - Year Seven (Part 6)

Harry pulled himself together enough to stand up again and turn with everyone else to see who the wedding crasher was. And, interestingly enough, it appeared to be…

“Jesus?”

It had to have been someone in the crowd who had spoken, but Harry wasn’t sure. Either way, it was absolutely Jesus objecting to their wedding. Like, a full grown adult Jesus. Which was strange, because this was supposed to be Bethlehem. There was a nativity scene with the “real” baby Jesus on the other side of the town. Yet, there now, at Harry and Louis’ fake wedding in the fake chapel of fake Bethlehem, stood a fake adult Jesus.

He was leaning against the doorframe leading to the chapel and was holding a tray with a whole cluster of small cups on it.

“Nicholas,” Louis practically hissed. 

Harry turned to look at him, confused, before looking back at Jesus, and it was only then that Harry realized he was right. Nick was another one of Louis’ drama class friends that Harry actually  _ had _ met. They got along well and he usually liked Nick for his ridiculous ways, but he was a bit unpredictable. As proven now.

But, he  _ was _ saving them a bit. After all, they were in need of a way to end the wedding.

Nick started making his way down the aisle, holding out the tray to people. 

“Water, anyone?” Someone picked up a cup from the tray when Nick/Fake Jesus held it out, and it was then that Harry realized it wasn’t water at all inside of the cups. “Whoops, sorry. I can’t really control that, honestly. But at least you guys can have a fun time at this wedding that is no longer happening!” 

By the time Nick/fake Jesus made it up to the altar, he had only three cups left, and Harry practically lunged for one of them. He could really use some wine right about then. It had been an eventful night and even a small amount of alcohol would go a long way for him at the moment.

Unfortunately, it was only grape juice, but he supposed it was better than nothing.

“So, yes, as I said earlier, this wedding really cannot go on,” Nick said, popping a hip and putting his free hand on it.

“Uh,” Niall said, clearly the only one with his wits still about him in some way. “Why not?”

“Because,” Nick/fake Jesus said, looking Niall in the eye, “I don’t think Harry wants to marry Louis. I think he wants to marry someone else instead.”

Harry blinked at Nick/fake Jesus in confusion. “Like who?” 

Truly, if his options were to marry Louis right now or marry someone else right now, he would take Louis in a heartbeat.

Nick obviously didn’t know this, though. “Like me,” he said.

“That’s, uhm… well…” Harry said. He always had been eloquent.

All of this was finally too much for Niall. He had been able to remain stoic through Harry and Louis laughing maniacally at the beginning. He had survived aborted objections and claims that Louis and Greg were dating when he  _ knew _ they weren’t. He was even able to survive what he thought would be a continued wedding between Harry and Louis, but apparently he could not hold it together for Nick/fake Jesus to claim Harry should marry him instead.

As Niall started laughing so hard it actually echoed back at them from the chapel, Louis pulled himself together enough to improvise. Which was great. But Harry wasn’t there yet.

“Well, too bad. Harry’s marrying me,” Louis said, emphatically.

“Oh yeah?” Nick/fake Jesus said. “Well I challenge you to fight me for Harry’s hand.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?”

Louis glanced at Harry, looking more than slightly worried. “Fight?”

Harry supposed he should be worried. He was about to possibly fight a man dressed as Jesus in the middle of Bethlehem. This really couldn’t end well.

“Absolutely,” Nick/fake Jesus said as he pulled a speaker from his robes. “A  _ dance _ fight.”

Nick was beaming, obviously proud of himself, and Louis laughed. Harry could practically feel his relief. Louis was a confident dancer, especially compared to the disaster that was Nick Grimshaw, so while Harry was ready to be entertained, he knew Louis was ready to win.

“You are so on,” Louis said, pushing up his sleeves.

“Excellent news,” Nick/fake Jesus said as he set the speaker down on the altar in front of Niall. He then pulled his phone out of his robes as well and hit play before setting it down as well. 

Some chords began to play from the speaker, and Harry could hardly believe this was happening. The music was in no way dance-off worthy, but he supposed it  _ was _ Nick dressed as Jesus who had challenged Louis to this duel. A gospel choir began to sing the Mariah Carey classic, “Jesus Oh What A Wonderful Child” and Nick/fake Jesus began to dance.

Well. Kind of. Nick didn’t actually have many dance moves to speak of, Harry had seen him attempt to dance at a few clubs the past semester and it was pretty nightmarish. That said, he  _ did _ seem to have prepared choreography for this moment and was doing a strange almost lip synch battle to the song with some poor footwork thrown in. Louis was so busy laughing as Nick/fake Jesus did the “Sprinkler” and the “Shopping Cart,” that he couldn’t even hold up his end of the dance fight at first.

Of course, that was when some kids stood up from where they’d been sitting in the decorated pews and started dancing their way up to join Nick/fake Jesus. It was amazing to watch and absolutely the best way Harry could have ever imagined to get himself out of a fake wedding.

At some point while Harry was in awe over the number of people who had joined Nick at the front, Louis had started dancing as well. His moves were just as ridiculous when paired with the music, but still at least a notch and a half above whatever Nick/fake Jesus was doing.

And this was all before the wedding was interrupted.  _ Again. _


	24. Christmas 2019 - Year Seven (Part 7)

Mariah Carey was on her six-gazillionth repetition of singing praise to Jesus when a loud voice was heard.

“What is…  _ Jesus?” _

The music continued, but most of the dancing stopped as everyone turned towards the door of the chapel to find a group of no less than seven Roman soldiers. Harry could only assume the sudden blasting of Mariah Carey had alerted someone that there were happenings not in line with the time of historical Bethlehem going on that needed to be stopped. Or maybe they’d noticed the lack of a few of their shop vendors and Bethlehem citizens. They likely hadn’t anticipated anything quite of this nature, though.

Nick/fake Jesus hadn’t given up on his dance fight yet. He simply waved with a wide grin at the soldiers before he started doing the running man in time to the choir and Mariah Carey’s high notes.

“Okay, but that’s not Jesus,” one of the soldiers finally said, pointing at Nick/fake Jesus. “We’ve met Jesus, he’s just a baby.” 

“Riiiiight,” one of the others said, nodding his head slowly. “This one’s an imposter. This all makes a lot more sense now.”

“Identity theft!” cried a soldier as he started walking towards Nick/fake Jesus. “That had to have been a crime even back… er… now.”

Two of the soldiers took Nick/fake Jesus by the arms and started escorting him away. He was somehow able to convince them to let him take his speaker and phone as long as he put them back into his robes as they carted him away.

One of the group remained and looked at Louis, though. “I feel like we should arrest you, too, but I don’t know why.”

“Oh, didn’t you say you got arrested last year?” Niall asked, always eager to be helpful. “Did you ever finish that sentence?”

The soldier turned to Louis, eyes wide. “An escaped convict!” He grabbed Louis’ arm and Louis just shrugged. “You’re definitely going to come with me.”

“Alright, well,” Harry said, awkwardly to Louis. “This was a good time. Thanks for the almost wedding and all that.”

Louis gave him finger guns and a cheesy wink before the soldier ushered him away.

Harry turned back to the crowd and said, “Well, I guess that’s it, folks! Thanks for joining us!” then walked back to his family.

“What just happened?” Robin asked. “I got really lost as soon as Jesus showed up.”

“So did I,” Harry said with a smile. “Want to go get some more cider?”

“That’s all you’re going to say right now?” Gemma squawked, smile still wide on her face from the entertainment of the fake wedding. “Want to go get more cider?”

Harry shrugged. “Well… yeah?”

“I’ll see ya back at school, man,” Niall said, clapping Harry on his shoulder. “Merry Christmas!”

“Bye, Niall,” Harry said, waving at him as he walked towards the chapel door.

“Oh my God, you knew the priest?” Anne said, finally seeming to break the stupor the entire last twenty minutes had thrown her into. 

“Oh, yeah. He’s one of Goat Guy’s roommates.”

“Even if the wedding didn’t happen, I do still get to keep the camel, right?” Robin asked, looking at the camel in his hands. “I’ve already grown attached to New Harry.”

“New Harry?” Harry asked, hand to his chest. “You actually named him New Harry?”

“Well, I got him in exchange for you,” Robin said with a shrug. “We were going to marry you off, so essentially the camel was your replacement. I’m going to keep him in a place of honor on the mantel over the fireplace. I decided that during the dance fight.”

“Okay, I think we’ve all been here for too long tonight and it’s time for us to get home,” Anne said. “You’ve all gone crazy.”

“How do you think she knew about the camel being what would cause Robin to agree?” Michal asked. “I mean, I only knew that because of Gemma and it’s obvious that Harry or Goat Guy didn’t tell her.”

“No, you’re right,” Anne said as they finally exited the chapel and made their way towards the exit. “She knew because I told her.”

“What?” Harry practically squawked. Their entire plan was nearly foiled because of his own mother? “How did you tell her? How do you even know her?”

“Oh, we attended the same church for a year or so while we were growing up,” Anne said, waving her hand. “We were never in the same Sunday School classes or anything, and my family never attended  _ that _ regularly, so we didn’t know each other well, but we recognized each other that first year. We hadn’t been in contact until we ran into each other in Walmart about a month ago, though.”

Gemma started laughing so hard she was wheezing and leaning on Michal to keep herself standing. “So you’re telling me that you two got to talking in the Walmart down the road and you just happened to tell her that Robin would sell Harry for a camel?”

Anne was smiling broadly, and Harry had never felt so betrayed by his own mother. She was a genius, but evil all the same.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Michal and Gemma gave her high fives and Robin gave her a kiss as Harry pouted. His entire family was against him.

“Oh, there’s your fiance!” Michal called, pointing. “And your almost fiance!”

When Harry looked where indicated, he found Nick/fake Jesus and Louis standing in a similar cage for animals as the one Louis had been escorted to last year. 

“Which one do you think won the dance fight, anyway?” Gemma asked. “Do you think Jesus ever had a chance?”

“ _ Fake _ Jesus,” Harry corrected. “And no. I’ve seen him dance when he’s actually trying, and it isn’t much better than what you got tonight.”

“Too bad,” Gemma said with a pout. “I’d like to have seen Goat Guy’s boyfriend’s reaction if he’d actually married you back there.”

“Why do you keep thinking Louis has a boyfriend?” Harry asked, possibly too loud. He was getting a little jealous and a lot tired of Gemma thinking Louis was dating Greg when Greg was actually dating a very nice girl named Bella.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, only my fiance, Harry!” Louis shouted across the way, causing a fair number of people surrounding them to stare at Louis before moving on in confusion.

“Ooh, we have to get pictures with them again,” Gemma said. “This time, it’ll be you with the two loves of your life.”

Harry sighed and followed her over to the area that was guarded by four Roman soldiers. Harry gave the soldiers the remaining coins he had in his purse before posing in front of Nick/fake Jesus and Louis for Gemma to take several photos.

“Can you tag me in those if you post them?” Nick/fake Jesus asked.

“Sure,” Harry agreed as the three of them looked at the photos Gemma had gotten before asking for her own selfies. “Louis can give you my Instagram and stuff. Just follow me and I’ll make sure you’re tagged.”

“My blessings be upon you,” Nick/fake Jesus said, waving his fingers around a little.

“I’m not sure that’s how it works, but good try,” Harry said, laughing. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” the other two called out, and Harry’s family finally left. 

Harry hoped this was enough to finally put an end to the Bethlehem proposals, but he supposed only time would tell.


	25. Christmas 2019 - Christmas Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The conclusion! I hope those of you that read along with me enjoyed it and like the ending :D Merry Christmas!

Harry’s phone vibrated again. Normally his mom would give him attitude or Gemma would tease him about texting Louis non-stop, but Gemma had left earlier that afternoon to spend the rest of the day with Michal’s family and Anne was asleep beside Robin as  _ National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation _ played. Worked out well for Harry, really, since it wasn’t even Louis who was texting him, it was Nick.

Or, well, Grimmy, he supposed. Apparently that was what his friends called him and since they were officially connected on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook now, Grimmy had insisted Harry call him that.

Harry hadn’t realized what a chatterbox Grimmy was, though. He was funny and nice, but it always got Harry excited seeing notifications thinking they were from Louis only to find they weren’t. 

Which was fine! Totally, completely fine. He’d just expected to hear more from Louis since everything went down with the fake wedding earlier that week, and they’d barely texted at all. Harry understood that the holidays were busy, but still. He missed Louis.

_ nicholasgrimshaw: So? Any exciting Christmas gifts or surprises? _

Harry shook his head at his phone. What was Grimmy’s obsession with the idea that Harry might be getting some sort of a surprise? He’d been asking him ever since he popped up in Harry’s Instagram DMs, and Harry wasn’t sure what more there was to say. It was Christmas break. There wasn’t really much happening. Bethlehem had been the highlight, in that way, every year for seven years.

_ HarryStyles: I mean, my mom got me some new cooking pans for my apartment. That was pretty cool _

The credits began to roll and Harry realized it was only eight at night. It felt so much later, almost like Christmas Day had extended itself and drawn everything out. It was the exact opposite from when he was a kid, but he supposed that was part of growing up.

Harry picked up the remote to see what other movies were showing when the doorbell rang and woke up Anne.

“Who’s that?” she asked, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. “Ooh, I bet it’s someone caroling for us!”

Harry didn’t hear anyone singing, but Anne made them all hurry and stand up before rushing to the door and pulling it open excitedly.

There wasn’t a group of singers bundled on their front steps, though. There was only a very cold, very nervous looking Louis Tomlinson.

“Louis?” Harry asked, stepping forward and folding his arms over his chest. “What are you doing here? It’s Christmas!”

“Yeah, well, the little ones all fell asleep early because they woke us up before dawn and everyone else was settling down and not doing anything, so I thought I’d come on by. I was kinda hoping we could talk?”

Harry furrowed his brows. “How do you even know where I live? And why didn’t you just call? We text all the time and, I know this is a bit of a surprise, but phones also have this really fancy ability to transmit voices between them.”

Louis stuck his tongue out at Harry and finally pulled his arms from behind his back. He was holding a fairly battered looking bag with a snowman on the front.

“I can’t exactly give you your Christmas gift through the phone, can I?”

“Oh God, I didn’t know we were exchanging gifts! I didn’t get you anything!” Harry started freaking out. Did he have anything that could work at all to give to Louis? He didn’t think so. What an awful friend he was.

“It’s fine, Harry. Really. I’m sorry about the bag, though. I had wrapped it —  it was quite shit actually, you know how bad I am at wrapping gifts —  but the youngest twins got to it before I could save it, and I had to reuse one of their bags, so hope it’s alright.”

“Awwww,” Anne said.

It was only then that Harry realized they were standing in an open doorway, with Louis still on the porch and Harry’s parents looking on. 

“Oh, come in. Please. Maybe we can go upstairs to talk where we can have a bit of privacy,” Harry said, eyeing Anne who didn’t even bother to look ashamed. She just raised her eyebrows and went walking back into the living room.

“Thanks,” Louis said, looking incredibly relieved. 

Once Louis was let inside, they closed the door and Harry led him upstairs to his bedroom. He closed the door behind them there as well, and turned around to see Louis perusing the posters and other decorations Harry hadn’t bothered to take down since leaving for college. 

While Louis looked around, Harry sat down on his bed and sat on his hands. “Seriously, though, how’d you get my address?”

Louis smiled over his shoulder and said, “It seems that our mom’s exchanged more information than just details surrounding a camel.”

“Ahh, should have known,” Harry said, smiling. “So, what did you wanna talk about?”

Louis looked nervous again and shoved the bag into Harry’s hands. “Here. Open this first.”

“Uhh, okay,” Harry said, taking the bag. “Thank you, again. I really do feel bad that I didn’t get you anything.”

“You really shouldn’t feel bad about anything,” Louis said. “Wait until you see it. It’s not much.”

Harry pulled out the two pieces of fairly dismal looking tissue paper and found…

“A goat?” Harry asked as he pulled it out of the bag. 

Sure enough, it was a small, plush goat.

“Okay, so what is this?” Harry asked, chuckling. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s super cute and all, but I’m not gonna marry you for just one goat and my parents still kept the camel your mom offered, so—“

“No, no,” Louis interrupted, waving his hands in the air. “This isn’t for marriage. I figured we should start smaller instead of jumping right into that, you know? But I  _ was _ hoping that a goat would be enough for you to say yes to going on a date with me.”

“Louis,” Harry said, throwing the goat at Louis. Louis fumbled with it for a second before he caught it and Harry continued. “You can’t just give me a plush goat for every date we go on. Imagine the cost! And where in the world would I put all of them? I feel like that’s a bit much for just a single date. Did you even think this through?”

Louis narrowed his eyes and held the goat out as if he was using it to point at Harry. “So is that a yes to the date?”

“Of course it’s a yes, you idiot.” Harry stood up and walked over to Louis, taking the goat from his hands. He wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck and, as he leaned his forehead against Louis’, whispered, “But next time, maybe just stick with a plush cat or something. Those are far more cute and fit with my personality and style better.”

Louis chuckled before leaning in and finally pressing his lips to Harry’s. It was short and sweet, exactly right for a first kiss on Christmas.

“Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading along with me, especially if you're doing so as I post. You're all angels. If you like what you read, I would love it very much a lot if you wouldn't mind leaving me a kudos and a nice comment! You can also find the fic post [here](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/189410254698/the-goat-guy-of-bethlehem-an-advent-fic). Thanks again, and Merry Christmas!


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